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Rate my gp essay!

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Discuss the significance of tourism in your country.

I live in a country, where mass killing is a normal thing. Every other day some random call for strikes and most of the cities are shut down. Karachi suffer millions of loses because of these strikes. Children cannot go to school because of uncertain conditions. For a country like Pakistan where there are dozens of scenic beauties and eye catching views, tourism has always been an important source of income. But due to political instability and uncertain conditions, there is a sharp decrease in revenue earned from tourism.
Tourism is important because it contributes to the GDP of Pakistan. People from all over the world visit Pakistan because of its natural beauty and fascinating scenes, this increases national income for the country. When tourists spend their income in areas like Gilgit and Baltistan, which are not much developed, the standard of living for the locals rises.
When tourists visit a place they need hotels to live and peoples to help them in showing all the important places in the area. This creates employment for the locals whose skills were other wise redundant. This is only seasonal and temporary employment however. This is because tourists tend to visit a place keeping in mind the weather conditions of that time, for example tourists visit Muree, Kaghan, Swat during winter to experience snowfall. Therefore people have to look for other sources of income too.
Tourism improves the infrastructure facilities of the area as more revenue is spent on building roads and hotels to attract tourists. This is considered a renewable source of income for the peoples, because tourists are attracted by natural beauty of the area, which is in danger however because of the recent global climate changes.
The benefits of tourism can further be deluged by advertising. This can increase the demand and hence revenue for the locals.
Tourism may seem to contribute positively to the economy however it can affect adversely too. Tourists tend to pollute and deteriorate the environment by throwing garbage littering etc. This has an adverse impact on the environment and makes difficult for the locals to survive, as most of the things are ought by the tourists because they pay greater in real terms, hence there is not much left for the locals.
Tourists destroy the local culture. The effect of westernization has been already witnessed in Karachi, Lahore etc, Locals start deviating form the culture for which they are known for and adopt western culture.
Too much tourists can exhaust the resources and make problems for the locals to survive. Instead of improvement this might have an adverse impact on the economy. Keeping in mind the current political situation of the country, revenue earned form tourism is not some thing to be relied upon, although there are many places to visit in Pakistan, which can really boost the economy, but the tourist will be looking for their safety. We need to have peace if we want tourism in our country.
 
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718
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53
i'm having an exam tomorrow
give me marks in content and language ( language out of 20) and (content out of 30 )
 
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Language 15/20 .. (There are a couple of grammatical mistakes in there.)
Content 23/30 .. (The content is pretty good .. but could use some more points. The same would be 25 had you not repeated the point about the create job opportunities/standard of living increasing.. these are inter-related and should have been in the same paragraph or other the examiner might think you are repeating points!)

Apart from that your essay was pretty good. Now try writing on a topic on one of those "Do you agree or disagree", Those essays tend to show the best of one's skills :)

that's 38/50. If you work and practice a little .. 42-44/50 is within your reach easily :)
 
Messages
718
Reaction score
150
Points
53
Language 15/20 .. (There are a couple of grammatical mistakes in there.)
Content 23/30 .. (The content is pretty good .. but could use some more points. The same would be 25 had you not repeated the point about the create job opportunities/standard of living increasing.. these are inter-related and should have been in the same paragraph or other the examiner might think you are repeating points!)

Apart from that your essay was pretty good. Now try writing on a topic on one of those "Do you agree or disagree", Those essays tend to show the best of one's skills :)

that's 38/50. If you work and practice a little .. 42-44/50 is within your reach easily :)
thank u bro !
 
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