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~~jokes?? in here?? really??

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06-LEAD-hey-girl-whats-your-sine.jpeg
 
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I’ll buy you 11 Roses; 10 real and 1 fake. And I’ll love you until the last rose dies.
I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.
I stepped on a Cornflake, and now I am a cereal killer.
Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
Future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep.
You all laugh because I’m different – I laugh because you’re all the same.
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman.
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more.
I don’t get older. I level up. When two’s company, three’s the result! The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of refund checks. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. The wise never marry and when they marry they become otherwise. The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, and the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else. Practice makes perfect. But nobody’s perfect. So why practice? Money is not everything. There’s MasterCard and Visa. I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. He who laughs last thinks slowest!
AWESOMENESS (y)(y)(y)(y)(y)
 
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...And it's really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first!
 
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