~~jokes?? in here?? really??

[haochen]

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."​

 

[gary221]

 

[haochen]

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you’re gonna die."​

 

[gary221]

 

[haochen]

A grad student stood on the side of the road hitch hiking on
a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The thunder
was rolling and no cars passed. The storm was so strong,
he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly
he saw a car come towards him and stop.

The man, without thinking about it, got in the car and
closed the door to realize that nobody was behind the
wheel. The car started slowly. He looked at the road and
saw a curve ahead. Scared, he started praying, and begged
for his life. He hadn't come out of shock, when just before
he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and
moved the wheel. The man, paralyzed in terror, watched
how the hand appeared every time before a curve.He gathered his strength, got out of the car and ran to the
nearest town. Wet and in shock, he ran into a bar and asked
for two shots of tequila, and started telling everybody about
the horrible experience he went through. A silence enveloped
everybody when they realized the man was crying and wasn't
drunk.

About half an hour later, two men walked into the same bar,
and one said to the other. "Look Billy, that's the character who
climbed into the car while we were pushing it." ​

 

[haochen]

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an​

oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then​

get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they​

have experienced; he decides to grant them one wish​

each, before they enter Paradise.​

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what​

the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps​

His fingers, and it is done. The second one in line​

hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."​

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.​

This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line,​

the last guy in the line starts laughing. When there​

are only ten people left, this guy is rolling​

on the floor, laughing his head off.​

Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his​

wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says:​

"Make'em all ugly again".​

​

SO....THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE 'LAST IN LINE'...CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY!​

 

[gary221]

 

[gary221]

 

[gary221]

 

[AngelicBeauty]

oh yeah....
ur post always so true and realistic
u know dis happens wid me everytime...instead there was a point of time ppl(family and friends) used to tease me as short term memory loss cause i kept fogetting small petty things

 

[gary221]

 

[Hemdon]

 

[gary221]

oh yeah....
ur post always so true and realistic
u know dis happens wid me everytime...instead there was a point of time ppl(family and friends) used to tease me as short term memory loss cause i kept fogetting small petty things

thnx....
same here as well...

 

[Hemdon]

 

[Hemdon]

 

[Hemdon]

 

[gary221]

 

[Hemdon]

 

[Hemdon]

 

[Hemdon]