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Letting our mothers down

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Letting our mothers down

By:
Ali Moeen Nawazish Monday, May 14, 2012


I was shuffling through the newspaper and the Mothers Day ads caught my eye. Its overwhelming to see the way people are enthusiastic about this day. A few years ago barely anyone would ever really talk about appreciating mothers on a scale we do now. So, I decided to take a break from the debates, strategies and experiences surrounding education and youth to pay a tribute to all the mothers who have been with us through thick and thin.

It is amazing to see that people now gradually understand the true essence and importance of mothers. The general awareness, helped largely by initiatives in the media, has led a normal person to at least think about the sacrifices bore by his/her mother. In our society, we have mothers like Zahida Kazmi, who is the first female taxi driver in Pakistan. She had a family of six people to support when her husband passed away; she didn’t give up and bought a taxi to support her family. She worked hard and broke through boundaries for her children!

A mother’s contribution to her child is unique and different because there is a strong emotional and social bonding between them. Bonding with children comes only with a day-to-day unconditional love and care of the family. We need to recognise the inextricable strong link that exists between the mothers and the welfare of the whole family including the father and children. If we only dwell on the word ‘mother” and all she means to us. Celebrating Mother’s Day isn’t saying that we will only recognise the contributions our mothers make once a year. In fact, it is more a reminder every year to tell us how important our mothers truly are.

Mothers have long since known to be the driving force behind reforming a nation. The support (and daily presence) of a caring mother can make such a great impression on a person. But perhaps mostly it is the perceived lack that makes the most impact. They have no super powers and yet they are integral to the development of their children. One cannot help but be so fascinated by that!

Yet, there exists an inherent hypocrisy. Culturally we hold our mothers to a high degree. We respect them, we love them. We treat them as the most important people in our lives. However, when it comes to treating our mothers fairly as women we have failed miserably. Women are often subjected to domestic violence. Women from disadvantaged backgrounds, working low-income jobs, or from ethnic minorities are given less chances and opportunities in life. There is a certain mentality is deeply ingrained in our strict patriarchal society. Poor and uneducated women must struggle daily for basic rights, recognition, and respect. They put up with so much misogyny and institutionalised bigotry and discrimination. They are forced to sacrifice their dreams and ambitions to bring up their children and along the way they lose themselves, go through teething troubles and difficulties every day.

The emotive thing is that, after all they have been put through; all they want is to see their children contented and accomplished! Yet we as their children never stop to think let alone try to change the plight that our mothers have been through. If we ever were to truly value them to respect them, we would make sure that no other mother has to face the same hardships that most mothers have had to face.

In terms of significance, it would seem nothing can be more imperative than honouring that very special person who not only gave life to us, but also spent the rest of her life, nurturing us, caring for us, loving us and even forgiving us for all the pain and distress we had given her all the way through her life. Yet, what is even more imperative is to improve the situation of our mothers. What is more important is to educate them more, and provide fairness and protection. So they can be better mothers, better leaders and help us even more.

While we celebrate a great person in our lives; our mothers, let’s make a pledge to care for the women we call our mothers. Respect them not just in one role but overall. While in the end, mothers believe the greatest reward for all they have done is seeing their children turn into happy, successful adults. They let go of their dreams and own passions, but it is up to us to ensure that out of our own love and appreciation we never let their dreams die. We have let our mothers down, and just because they love us too much to say anything does not mean that we take them for granted at all! Mother’s Day is about loving our mothers, but it is also about loving and respecting them as women.
 
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