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Kindly mark my story out of 30. Please also make me aware with the strong points and discrepancies in the story. Positive criticism is welcomed.
Q. One day you made a bad mistake which upset other people. Write about what happened and how you tried to put things right.
The evil temptation that floated in my mind was simply irresistible. I just couldn't foresee the trouble that awaited me. My friends were digging a trench for me to fall into and for some inexplicable reason, I was helping them do it. Maybe it was my passionate love for money, or my peers who were to be blamed for.
It's midnight and our gang is busy contriving up a plan for carrying out our sinister intentions. It's been a lifetime dream and within a few hours, I would be a millionaire...yes...a millionaire indeed!
And here I was--standing in the courtyard of Mr. McMillan's house...ready to ransack the whole house for priceless items. He was assumed to be an opulent person in the town. So very soon, we four had broken into his house to plunder. Before long, I came face to face with the locked safe. Surely this was the place where everything was supposed to be kept. But my mental blindness kept me from thinking about the imminent danger. Just as I forwarded my itchy-for-wealth palm towards the safe....'BANG'! And everything went pitch black.
I woke up in awe in a stifling cell with countless shabby strangers crammed in. Noticing the metal bars, a lightning bolt struck through me as I realized that I had been imprisoned for the futile burglary attempt. A police inspector appeared out of the blue and dragged me through by the collar to an office. My senses were fully alive now.
Then he began his monotonous inquiry about where I had come from, who else was involved and more about my intentions. I mumbled out answers. Then the inspector did what I had dreaded-he took my identity cards and decided to call my parents. I apologized, but the inspector was least convinced . I confessed that I was a student from Pakistan here in the U.K., but my friends had driven me the wrong way.
A day later, my distressed parents walked into the jail, and all I could do behind the bars was to hide my face. They were saddened by my appalling tale, which the policeman conveyed to them. I could see the fury and tears in their eyes. I was convicted with the charge of complicity in a theft and was immediately deported back to Pakistan.
I had wasted my father's lifetime hard earned money and was back in my native country, empty handed. I begged their pardon. But everyone had closed their gates of forgiveness for me. How on earth did I do this? I pledged solemnly to others that I would never do similar acts again but it was too little, too late. What next?
I tried to convince them that it was no use dwelling on the past. But my mistake was not so trivial. My family members hurled uncharitable comments against me. Adamant not to give up, my instincts told me to try any other way to convince them
"Ok father, I promise that whatever I do next in my life, will never go against your will", I said. "Son, you have already drowned our prestige. We don't want anything from you. Go and do whatever you will", he retorted. I even told him that I will apply to a renowned local university and intended to complete my education by starting from scratch. But the big question was where the money would come from? Then, a wonderful idea struck me!
I had saved plentiful money before going overseas. But my father's savings had proved to be enough to finance my expenses. I told him everything about the savings and then came a sudden twist in his mood. He was delighted. As a loving parent, he forgave my grave mistake and agreed. Thus, I got enrolled in a prestigious university a month later by hiding my past record. My shameless act had injured my self-esteem, and there was nothing better I could do!
Q. One day you made a bad mistake which upset other people. Write about what happened and how you tried to put things right.
The evil temptation that floated in my mind was simply irresistible. I just couldn't foresee the trouble that awaited me. My friends were digging a trench for me to fall into and for some inexplicable reason, I was helping them do it. Maybe it was my passionate love for money, or my peers who were to be blamed for.
It's midnight and our gang is busy contriving up a plan for carrying out our sinister intentions. It's been a lifetime dream and within a few hours, I would be a millionaire...yes...a millionaire indeed!
And here I was--standing in the courtyard of Mr. McMillan's house...ready to ransack the whole house for priceless items. He was assumed to be an opulent person in the town. So very soon, we four had broken into his house to plunder. Before long, I came face to face with the locked safe. Surely this was the place where everything was supposed to be kept. But my mental blindness kept me from thinking about the imminent danger. Just as I forwarded my itchy-for-wealth palm towards the safe....'BANG'! And everything went pitch black.
I woke up in awe in a stifling cell with countless shabby strangers crammed in. Noticing the metal bars, a lightning bolt struck through me as I realized that I had been imprisoned for the futile burglary attempt. A police inspector appeared out of the blue and dragged me through by the collar to an office. My senses were fully alive now.
Then he began his monotonous inquiry about where I had come from, who else was involved and more about my intentions. I mumbled out answers. Then the inspector did what I had dreaded-he took my identity cards and decided to call my parents. I apologized, but the inspector was least convinced . I confessed that I was a student from Pakistan here in the U.K., but my friends had driven me the wrong way.
A day later, my distressed parents walked into the jail, and all I could do behind the bars was to hide my face. They were saddened by my appalling tale, which the policeman conveyed to them. I could see the fury and tears in their eyes. I was convicted with the charge of complicity in a theft and was immediately deported back to Pakistan.
I had wasted my father's lifetime hard earned money and was back in my native country, empty handed. I begged their pardon. But everyone had closed their gates of forgiveness for me. How on earth did I do this? I pledged solemnly to others that I would never do similar acts again but it was too little, too late. What next?
I tried to convince them that it was no use dwelling on the past. But my mistake was not so trivial. My family members hurled uncharitable comments against me. Adamant not to give up, my instincts told me to try any other way to convince them
"Ok father, I promise that whatever I do next in my life, will never go against your will", I said. "Son, you have already drowned our prestige. We don't want anything from you. Go and do whatever you will", he retorted. I even told him that I will apply to a renowned local university and intended to complete my education by starting from scratch. But the big question was where the money would come from? Then, a wonderful idea struck me!
I had saved plentiful money before going overseas. But my father's savings had proved to be enough to finance my expenses. I told him everything about the savings and then came a sudden twist in his mood. He was delighted. As a loving parent, he forgave my grave mistake and agreed. Thus, I got enrolled in a prestigious university a month later by hiding my past record. My shameless act had injured my self-esteem, and there was nothing better I could do!
