An attemp to give children back their mothers

[SalmanPakRocks]

Like I said, no more off topic
Sorry.

 

[GetSomeLife]

It was ON topic! I just gave my view about mothers doing a job or not! How is that off topic?

 

[SalmanPakRocks]

It was ON topic! I just gave my view about mothers doing a job or not! How is that off topic?

no it wasn't. U stated your views upon glamgurl reply! Anyways please. No more off topics here.

 

[GetSomeLife]

no it wasn't. U stated your views upon glamgurl reply! Anyways please. No more off topics here.

Yes boss, whatever you say!

 

[Dayyanah]

As you said yourself, this is an EXTREME case. Why? the reason is simple! Because the fault is NOT of the job but rather the morale of the lady.
There is a thing called being sensible. And no sensible woman would give into a job SO much that she forgets her own children!

Ok.. lets get back on topic.. this is an extreme case, yes.. but is DOES happen... and extreme cases dont just pop out of the air... they initially start off small.. like wen u leave the maid to cook n feed ur kids, the kids spend the whole day with the maida l, listening to them... who are those kids goung to be like? U or the maid? N wen the maid leaves the job? Do u think ur kid will obey u more or the maid more who cared for him wen u dint? It is disobedience to parents that initiates this..

 

[rz123]

 

[Dayyanah]

Did i say sumthing i wasn supposed to? Sorry to anyone i offended, but that was not my intention... i just wany to make ppl realise that its not that if u have a Bachelors or sumthing, u HAVE to work.. things dont work that way... ur first responsibility is at home.. bcz on Qiyamah, u wont b askd wat u fed ur kids by ur money, or how much time u spent pleasing ur boss... it is ur kids that reflect u... wen u see ur child attainin success, it is ur hard works reflection that u see... and wen ur child get spoilt, which is very highly probable in this era, it is u who r ashamed of ur failure even if u blame he society, u whud definately feel the pinch... so before getting to hat, avoid the pinch thn u dont need to feel it

 

[AlphaCentauri]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. If you miss people for few hours a day, it's more likely you'll give more attention to them for the rest of the day.

Anyway, I fail to understand why people fail to see the analogy. Women in the past would work, in the fields, sewing, gardening, 'talking', 'watching TV'. 'Work' in our contemporary world is simply another activity, with the difference that it carries a salary.

 

[Dayyanah]

i have nothing against women work, i dont c y u fail to understand that... i too plan on bcming a dentist...
u r ryt tht separationg will bring eagerness... but isnt that just the case in the begining? wen a kid goes to school first day, nursery school, he cries bcz he misses his mum... dusnt that gap then bcm a routine? the same way if a woman works, she myt miss he kids for a few weeks but as it bcms a routine, positive feedback will damage things, is that a risk the community is willing to take with peer pressure at the moment?

 

[sea_princess]

okay , I just came across this and well this is what I think:
for the video, that's not always the case and it happens rarely, and in my opinion those mothers they probably were brought up the same way (having no mothers to care for them)so basically I believe the video is being extreme like what ravel said.
for the case of women's work: I don't oppose it at all, women have the right to work ,and in fact I'm surrounded by examples of women working and their kids grew up well and became responsible people. having a job doesn't mean necessarily that the woman wouldn't cook for her children , or wouldn't wake them up for school, in fact my own mum is working ,and she always woke us up for school and helped us get dressed and everything, of course dad had to help sometimes but the way I see it ,this just increases the sense of cooperation and love among husbands and wives. Besides ,let's face it , most of the ladies who stay at home make no real use of education , become really bored and shopping and watching series on TV becomes one major aspect of their lives and they do spent hours on the phone talking nonsense.
For what mr. moderator said about safety for women and environment, u can't just tell a woman to stay at home because she might not be safe walking to work, accidents can happen anywhere , even at home u know, environment :that doesn't sound like a real excuse u know.
so my idea is ,y not allow women to work for a few hourss a day, it does help them ,and at the same time they still care for their families.
I apologise if I said something wrong and for it being so long.

 

[Dayyanah]

yes i do think women have a right to work but from the way i have been toking to my frenz, we see things a different way... and i believe that if a woman can work from home, mayb cooking n selling food, or even if hey are getting an online job, that would b better bcz aftr all, ur hijab needs to b maintained too ryt.. yes i know ppl will say tht u r keeping distance n all but hijab is a whole diffren topic and there is hijab or eyes, ears, voce, clothing, walking and soo many things... it may not b absolutely impossible, but its hard and children tend to take off aftr their parents so, if u do it so will ur kid and the chain will go on and on and on

 

[sea_princess]

dear Dayyanah, I don't think hijab and having a job oppose each other, hijab means that u keep ur respect ,and even without hijab u can still wear clothes that cover you properly, besides if the woman is decent ,then she can stop anyone and even if the danger is really great there are things like the pepper spray and some simple techniques which if every girl learned she could defend herself very well.
As girls I don't think we should say it's danger outside and that's it, we are strong and we can be very strong if we wanted too, and the examples of such girls are countless, wearing hijab and very successful ladies in their work and married lives ,and they have the respect of their bosses and co-workers.

 

[badrobot14]

dear Dayyanah, I don't think hijab and having a job oppose each other, hijab means that u keep ur respect ,and even without hijab u can still wear clothes that cover you properly, besides if the woman is decent ,then she can stop anyone and even if the danger is really great there are things like the pepper spray and some simple techniques which if every girl learned she could defend herself very well.
As girls I don't think we should say it's danger outside and that's it, we are strong and we can be very strong if we wanted too, and the examples of such girls are countless, wearing hijab and very successful ladies in their work and married lives ,and they have the respect of their bosses and co-workers.

You mention successful ladies.. well the thing is it all depends upon what your Idea of success is.... There is this cool passage in surah Saffat where a person who has been gifted Paradis has just seen hell (kindda on his request) look at what he says:
"If not for the favor of my Lord, I would have been of those brought in [to Hell].
Then, are we not to die
Except for our first death, and we will not be punished?"
Indeed, this is the great attainment.
For the like of this let the workers [on earth] work."
(37:57-62)
Notice how he calls getting paradis the (Fauzul Azeem) supreme success!
The Prophet (Sallallahhualihiwasalam) said:
“When the son of Adam dies his actions come to an end except three things, a continuing charity or knowledge which gives benefit or a pious child who prays for him” (Sahih Muslim)
So if a mother, instead of working outside, works on her children giving them time, brings them up as great human beings, people of charachter... They are successfull on another scale; not in terms of money maybe but in other ways....

 

[sea_princess]

badrobot , my aim of work is not gaining money , it's just something that a woman can feel that she does something for a change ,that is if the husband can support the house financially alone .And I didn't say that getting a job should make her neglect her children like the woman in the video.
What I say is ,I do support having a job but under the condition that she gives enough care for her children

 

[rz123]

Blessed is your face​

Blessed is your name​

My beloved​

Blessed is your smile​

Which makes my soul want to fly​

My beloved​

All the nights​

And all the times​

That you cared for me​

But i never realised it​

And now it’s too late​

Forgive me​

Now I’m alone filled with so much shame​

For all the years i caused you pain​

If only i could sleep in your arms again​

Mother I’m lost without you​

You were the sun that brightened my day​

Now who’s going to wipe my tears away​

If only i knew what i know today​

Mother I’m lost without you​

​

Mother... mother... o my mother​

How i long to see o mother​

“your mother, your mother, your mother”​

Is the saying of your prophet​

In my heart, in my dreams​

You are always with me mother​

​

You went and left me​

O light of my eyes​

O comfort of my nights​

You went and left me​

​

Who, other than you, will embrace me?​

Who, other than you, will cover me?​

Who, other than you, will guard over me?​

Your pardon mother, forgive me​

​

i know this is not really relevant to the topic but i just remembered a beautiful song by Sami Yusuf. Enjoy the meaningful true lyrics.

 

[Dayyanah]

You mention successful ladies.. well the thing is it all depends upon what your Idea of success is.... There is this cool passage in surah Saffat where a person who has been gifted Paradis has just seen hell (kindda on his request) look at what he says:
"If not for the favor of my Lord, I would have been of those brought in [to Hell].
Then, are we not to die
Except for our first death, and we will not be punished?"
Indeed, this is the great attainment.
For the like of this let the workers [on earth] work."
(37:57-62)
Notice how he calls getting paradis the (Fauzul Azeem) supreme success!
The Prophet (Sallallahhualihiwasalam) said:
“When the son of Adam dies his actions come to an end except three things, a continuing charity or knowledge which gives benefit or a pious child who prays for him” (Sahih Muslim)
So if a mother, instead of working outside, works on her children giving them time, brings them up as great human beings, people of charachter... They are successfull on another scale; not in terms of money maybe but in other ways....

hip hip, hurray!
three cheers for badrobot..
that was amazing, honestly

 

[badrobot14]

dear Dayyanah, I don't think hijab and having a job oppose each other, hijab means that u keep ur respect ,and even without hijab u can still wear clothes that cover you properly, besides if the woman is decent ,then she can stop anyone and even if the danger is really great there are things like the pepper spray and some simple techniques which if every girl learned she could defend herself very well.
As girls I don't think we should say it's danger outside and that's it, we are strong and we can be very strong if we wanted too, and the examples of such girls are countless, wearing hijab and very successful ladies in their work and married lives ,and they have the respect of their bosses and co-workers.

Another important thing thing that I forgot to mention... and please don't mind me saying this; A lot of us think that Hijab is just a casual command of Allah, as you say "even without hijab u can still wear clothes that cover you properly, besides if the woman is decent ,then she can stop anyone and even if the danger is really great there are things like the pepper spray "
the thing is modesty is NOT the reason a muslim woman wears hijab or is modest, the reason is that Allah, our master- the most high, commanded it. The heart of Islam is acknowledging that our rabb (Master, owner, the one who feeds us, the one who blesses us) is Allah. So we submit to His commands without question. For example; look at Ibrahim (AS) Allah commands him to slaughter his beloved son, he doesn't say "Why take my innocent child Allah, when you are AsSamad(The one free of need, but everything else needs Him)??" He knows whatever Allah commands, if it really is Allah's command, then it's the right thing to do. no wonder he has such high status in our deen. And as a gift Allah didn't even take his son. READ how amazingly Allah mentions him.
And the pepper spray thing happens in movies... in real life there are real problems and you'll find the perfect ways to deal with 'em in Islam.

and about women working; As far as I know, if the work is permissible and the environment is ok (no intermingling b/w genders etc.) then women can work there... (Ask knowledgeable scholars for details...)
But the thing is the women don't need to earn coz in Islam it's the responsibility of the men to provide for their family...
Allah knows best

 

[Dayyanah]

Another important thing thing that I forgot to mention... and please don't mind me saying this; A lot of us think that Hijab is just a casual command of Allah, as you say "even without hijab u can still wear clothes that cover you properly, besides if the woman is decent ,then she can stop anyone and even if the danger is really great there are things like the pepper spray "
the thing is modesty is NOT the reason a muslim woman wears hijab or is modest, the reason is that Allah, our master- the most high, commanded it. The heart of Islam is acknowledging that our rabb (Master, owner, the one who feeds us, the one who blesses us) is Allah. So we submit to His commands without question. For example; look at Ibrahim (AS) Allah commands him to slaughter his beloved son, he doesn't say "Why take my innocent child Allah, when you are AsSamad(The one free of need, but everything else needs Him)??" He knows whatever Allah commands, if it really is Allah's command, then it's the right thing to do. no wonder he has such high status in our deen. And as a gift Allah didn't even take his son. READ how amazingly Allah mentions him.
And the pepper spray thing happens in movies... in real life there are real problems and you'll find the perfect ways to deal with 'em in Islam.

and about women working; As far as I know, if the work is permissible and the environment is ok (no intermingling b/w genders etc.) then women can work there... (Ask knowledgeable scholars for details...)
But the thing is the women don't need to earn coz in Islam it's the responsibility of the men to provide for their family...
Allah knows best

once again, three cheers for badrobot
keep it up, may Allah increase ur strength.. Ameen

 

[rz123]

Oh Mamaaaaaaaaaa! sweet mama dear mama.

 

[Dayyanah]

i realized one more thing... if a lady works, n she has teenage girls in the house, im not toking abt unavoidable work which women take when they cant make ends meet.. im talking abt working, bcz u feel like it... do u think ur teenage daughter wud listen to u if u tokd her not to talk to non mahram when you do it too at work? however best u maintain ur hijab, teenage is the time where ppl come up wtith the most loop holes to get away with what they want... do u think she wud listen to u? or wud she say, 'y do it too, practice b4 u preach'