English Writings Sample Essays

[Awesome12]

Well here is a story I wrote. The topic was one from the past papers

Write a story which includes the words: ‘He struggled across the last part of the beach as quickly
as he could.’

Could someone please check this and guide me on how to write better if there are any errors
Thanks

Maganius

 

[Maganius]

Overall, it's a well-organized essay. The sentence structure is good as well the formation of the story. However, I think so you've used some unnecessary sentences like *As he walked in to the distance, his framework appeared to be getting smaller and smaller, until the back of his head was only visible. * Instead you'd have written * After sometime, only his head was visible* .

This should be the starting our your last paragraph : *Preparing myself mentally like a magician before performing an act, I gathered all my courage and determination.* 'cause it doesn't quite fit in the second last paragraph.


In the final paragraph of the essay, you have to reflect on the larger meaning or importance of the experience described. You have to conclude that learning to swim has helped you to feel more confident about yourself in other new situations. The idea that self-confidence comes from conquering your fears is something that all people can relate to. This is the point of the story.

unitika usama321 , would you please go through his essay and give him few suggestions. Thanks

 

[Awesome12]

Overall, it's a well-organized essay. The sentence structure is good as well the formation of the story. However, I think so you've used some unnecessary sentences like *As he walked in to the distance, his framework appeared to be getting smaller and smaller, until the back of his head was only visible. * Instead you'd have written * After sometime, only his head was visible* .

This should be the starting our your last paragraph : *Preparing myself mentally like a magician before performing an act, I gathered all my courage and determination.* 'cause it doesn't quite fit in the second last paragraph.


In the final paragraph of the essay, you have to reflect on the larger meaning or importance of the experience described. You have to conclude that learning to swim has helped you to feel more confident about yourself in other new situations. The idea that self-confidence comes from conquering your fears is something that all people can relate to. This is the point of the story.

unitika usama321 , would you please go through his essay and give him few suggestions. Thanks

Thanks alot bro

 

[Maganius]

Thanks alot bro

Np ^_^

 

[exploded diper]

Well here is a story I wrote. The topic was one from the past papers

Write a story which includes the words: ‘He struggled across the last part of the beach as quickly
as he could.’

Could someone please check this and guide me on how to write better if there are any errors
Thanks

Maganius

its quite good....

 

[DAZ1234]

Hey

Well here is a story I wrote. The topic was one from the past papers

Write a story which includes the words: ‘He struggled across the last part of the beach as quickly
as he could.’

Could someone please check this and guide me on how to write better if there are any errors
Thanks

Maganius

How long did it take you to write this? btw it's very good (Y)

 

[DAZ1234]

And u made a grammatical error in one of your sentences. 'Oblivious of''. Its oblivious TO

 

[Awesome12]

its quite good....

Thanks

Hey


How long did it take you to write this? btw it's very good (Y)

Thanks bro. I didn't really keep a track on time

And u made a grammatical error in one your sentences. 'Oblivious of''. Its oblivious TO

Thanks

 

[DAZ1234]

Thanks

Thanks bro. I didn't really keep a track on time


Thanks

Suggestion: Do keep a track of time

 

[unitika]

ive done this topic will post as soon as i get it

 

[Awesome12]

Can someone check this it is urgent
Maganius

 

[Awesome12]

Oh yeah and the question was
You wre visiting a famous place in your country. Suddenly an old man fell to thr ground. One another persin wws also involved you were the first person to see this happen. Police aks you ti write an account of what you saw.
Exactly when and where the incident took place
Description of old ma who fell and what caused him to fall
How the ktner person was involved and what happened next

 

[exploded diper]

is there any format for starting an account.....

 

[Awesome12]

is there any format for starting an account.....

I apparently have all the formats. I did not use it here.
If you want, I can post it here

 

[exploded diper]

plz plz do....and can u also just the thread i tagged u in i posted the formats but am not sure tht they r correct.....

 

[Maganius]

Can someone check this it is urgent
Maganius

 

[Awesome12]

Thanks.

 

[Maganius]

Thanks.

All the best for tomorrow's exam

 

[exploded diper]

Okay hopefully u can read it.... And that it isnt too pathetic ... The topic was to right a story on "he could never resist temptation"

 

[exploded diper]

the last part is yet to cum...