~~jokes?? in here?? really??

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Charles Dickens: Please, sir, I’d like a martini.

Bartender: Sure thing. Olive or twist?


———-

James Joyce: I’ll take a Guinness.

Bartender: So Charles Dickens was in here yesterday.

James Joyce: (drinks)

Bartender: And he asked for a martini and I said, “Olive or twist?”

James Joyce: (drinks)

Bartender: You see, it’s funny because he wrote a book called “Oliver Twist.”

James Joyce: What a shitty joke.


___________


Ernest Hemingway: Gin.

Bartender: So Charles Dickens was in here two days ago.

Ernest Hemingway: Joyce already told me that story. F*ck off.


__________

Mark Twain: Give me a brandy.

Bartender: So Charles Dickens came in the other day and ordered a martini.

Mark Twain: Did he take an olive or twist? Ha ha ha!

Bartender: (tearful) You did that on purpose, didn’t you?


___________

Virginia Woolf: I’ll take your second-best cognac and unadulterated experience.

Bartender: We don’t have that. This is a bar.

Virginia Woolf: Patriarchy! (drowns herself)
 
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