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~~jokes?? in here?? really??

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try it
 
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Buying a chainsaw

This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his backyard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, ‘Look, I have a lot of models, but why don’t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day.’

So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw. ‘How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?’ the man asks himself. ‘I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day,’ the man tells himself. So, the next morning the man gets up at 4 a.m., in the morning and cuts and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and still he only manages to cut five cords.

The man is convinced this is a bad saw. ‘The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem. I will take this saw back to the dealer,’ the man says to himself.

The very next day the man brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the man’s claim, removes the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, ‘Hmm, it looks fine.’

Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man responds, ‘What’s that noise?’
 
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As the highway patrolman approached the accident site, he found that the entire driver’s side of the BMW had been ripped away, taking with it the driver’s arm. The injured man, a lawyer by profession, was obviously in shock and kept moaning, ‘My car, my car,’ as the officer tried to comfort him. ‘Sir,’ the patrolman said gently, ‘I think we should be more concerned about your arm than your car.’
The driver looked down to where his arm should have been, then screamed, ‘My Rolex! My Rolex!’
 
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Answer the customer, dude

An extremely muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, ‘W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?’

The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.

The man repeats himself: ‘W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?’ Again, the clerk doesn’t answer him.

The guy asks several more times: ‘W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?’

And the clerk just seems to ignore him. Finally, the guy is angry and storms off.

The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, ‘Why wouldn’t you answer that guy’s question?’

The clerk answers, ‘D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beaten up?’
 

badrobot14

XPRS Administrator
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Buying a chainsaw

This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his backyard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, ‘Look, I have a lot of models, but why don’t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day.’

So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw. ‘How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?’ the man asks himself. ‘I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day,’ the man tells himself. So, the next morning the man gets up at 4 a.m., in the morning and cuts and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and still he only manages to cut five cords.

The man is convinced this is a bad saw. ‘The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem. I will take this saw back to the dealer,’ the man says to himself.

The very next day the man brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the man’s claim, removes the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, ‘Hmm, it looks fine.’

Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man responds, ‘What’s that noise?’


haha! had to read the end part again to get it... awesome joke..! :ROFLMAO:
 
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