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~~jokes?? in here?? really??

M

MuslimGirl

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M

MuslimGirl

Messages
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Reaction score
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523
A collection of hillariously funny short jokes and one-liners to get you going at the Laugh Factory!
    1. What do sea monsters eat?
      Fish 'n' Ships
    2. Life Guard: Don't dive off that board! There's no water in the pool! Dummy: It's ok I can't swim!
    3. How did the Dinosaur pass his exam?
      With Extinction!
    4. 1st Monster: What's the best thing for water on the brain?
      2nd Monster: A tap on the head!
    5. How do Hypnotists get from place to place?
      By public trance-port!
    6. Why did you swallow the coins my boy?
      You said it was lunch money!
    7. What kind of mail does a super star vampire get?
      FANG-MAIL!
    8. What do elves do after school? Gnomework!
    9. What do you do when you get a headache? I do what they say on the box - "take 2 tablets" and "keep away from children"!
    10. Where do giant spiders play football?
      At Webley Stadium!
    11. My grandfather is a bit hard of hearing so he does lip reading. I don't mind the lip reading but he uses a yellow highlighter!
    12. Who can you trust with a secret?
      A Mummy... they always keep things under wraps!
    13. Why is exercise so important?
      So that you can die healthier!
    14. What do you give a seasick five stomached monster?
      As much room as possible!
    15. Why are monsters fingers never longer than 11 inches?
      Any longer would be a foot!
    16. How did you burn your ear Frankie?
      I was listening to the match!
    17. I have no idea why the doctor told me to get into shape! Is ROUND not a shape!? LAUGH FACTORY FAVORITE!
    18. How do you know when a clock is hungry?
      When it goes back four seconds!
    19. Do you have holes in your socks? NO!
      Then how do you get your feet in?
    20. The 1st restaurant on the moon didn't do very well. It had great food but no atmosphere!
    21. Knock, knock! Who's there? Luke! Luke who? Luke through the keyhole then you'll see who!
    22. What do you call spiders who have just got married?
      Newly-Webs!

    1. Why are there candles and bulbs in my lunch box?
      You asked for a Light Lunch! A Laugh Factory favorite!

    1. Why couldn't the ghost get a drink at the bar?
      They don't serve SPIRITS!
    2. Why can't you play practical jokes on snakes?
      You can't pull their legs!
    3. What do invisible people drink?
      Evaporated Milk!
    4. What occurs once in a month, twice in a moment but never in a day? The letter M!
    5. What goes up and down but never moves?
      Stairs!
    6. What are the largest ants in the world?
      Gi-ants!
    7. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
      He had noBODY to go with!!
    8. What do they call the cause of death if an axe fell on you? An axe-i-dent!
    9. Why do they compare men with roses?
      You have to watch out for the pricks!
    10. How do you know if you are crazy?
      When you don't suffer from insanity but you enjoy every minute of it!
    11. Why do you meditate?
      It beats sitting around doing nothing!
    12. Don't complain about the dentist fee of $90 for 1 minutes work to extract a tooth! He can make it last longer!
    13. Why do woman have smaller feet than men?
      So they can stand closer to the sink to do dishes!

  1. Why won't Cannibals eat clowns?
    They taste funny!
  2. I'm wondering if you're only as old as you feel, how is it that I'm alive at 150?
  3. Good things WON'T come to those that wait! They have to take the things that are left by those who got there first!
  4. Did you hear about the cemetery that raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living!
 
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