Rate my Gp essay!!

[pakiboy]

Here ur are pakiboy!

Thanks!!
I really appreciate it!

 

[pakiboy]

B

Here ur are pakiboy!

But is it necessary to counter argument in every point and give a concluding sentence?

 

[pakiboy]

Here ur are pakiboy!

Thanks!!

 

[Amy Bloom]

B
But is it necessary to counter argument in every point and give a concluding sentence?

Every point, you have to critically analyse it. the concluding sentence is essential. but make sure that you do not contradict urself.
You're welcome btw.

 

[Doggybros]

Question: Consider the view that the computer has failed to meet our educational needs in school.

Computer, not a new thing for common peoples in most of the developing countries, is still hefty enough to make an impact in this vast technological advanced aura. It is considered that this eloctronic machine greatly fends the current educational needs although this do cause some gruesome effects on its addicted users.
Time which never comes back, has a very substantial role in one's life. Computer which is said to be a source of abounded information, at the same time it is a common source of entertainment when it comes to games and social websites. Using computer to compensate our educational needs can have an adverse effect too, as it is much likely to be considered to be an entertainer rather than a trainer by students.
The negative aspects are not only confined to this. The most intellectual and ardent students argue about the presence of loads of incorrect information and misleading information on web,wikis and blogs. As these can be amended by every one unless the author remains vigilant over his writings, so there is always a chance for incorrect information being shared on wikis and blogs. At times it can be very difficult for even a teacher to differentiate between right and wrong and eventually the students might suffer at their hands.
Even if the information is perfectly appropiate the risk of bein affected by viruses intervenes. The user always remains in doubt, that which is the most secured link. Some times because of phising in which the user is unknowingly directed towards fraudalent websites, which may be prejudicial for the computer system. Getting such problems can be very difficult to manage if one doesn't know the nitty gritties of computer.
The disadvantages may seem as inevitable, but this technology isn't invented for just cropping the society with horrendous problems. It does has some positive aspects to consider too. Firstly and most importantly, the use of computers in education leads to the cltivation of new innovative and effective waysof teaching as well as learning. Research proves that it is much easier for a human to grasp information from graphics rather than monotonous and hefty books.
Moreover, it also cannot be abnegated that computer, with the advancement of internet facilities is a hub for fructuous and sublime knowledge, which is mostly updated unlike books. Students can greatly facilitate themselves by this technological blessing.
Another very important and prominent positive effect aspect of using computers in educational needs is distance learning. The students can video chat with their teachers. They can see videos, to make themselves comfortable in getting any concept right. Distance learning is like virtual classrooms, that can have a very bright effect on a student.
In the concluding part, although the computer has failed to a certain limit in satisfying educational needs but it will be unfair to ignore its positive effects on the education system. Hence it is much likely to be true that any technological advancement may not be perfectly innocuous for the aura or society.
Be honest guyz!!!!!!!!

Pardon me if I seem rude, but you wanted an honest opinion.
Your essay reeks of desperation to impress, and lacks sufficient number of examples. You are skimming and not going directly to the point.
Turn the dictionary to "aura" I think what you mean is "era" aura is a completely different thing.
"Fend" sort of means "defend" so I do not understand what you mean in the part " machine greatly fends the current educational needs".
Your essay is full of words used in the wrong place and grammatical errors.
Do not go into using too many fancy/heavy words, people with weak vocabulary often force them into their essays, without knowing the appropriate sentences in which to use these words. This is a GP essay and not a SAT essay. You will not be heavily penalised for using simple english terms, but use words you do not completely know the meaning of, and then a sentence loses its meaning, which will cause you to lose much more in the long run. A grammatically correct essay is always impressive.
You have a great problem with starting sentences. It seems that you panic and try to write something cool, but end up writing pointless stuff. Like: "Time, which never comes back..........." or " In the concluding part.......". Time has a substantial effect in one's life would be short and full of meaning. Remove the "in the concluding part" part and you have a great conclusion. You are very weak in grammar and should really work on it. Probably too late by now, should've done it six years ago!(But hey, its just my opinion, people usually say "Its never too late") You seem to start a lot of sentences with nouns, it does not sound that good. It is all right to write a conclusion(or any other paragraph) even longer than five sentences.
You have to work hard. And remember, give at least one example in each paragraph to support your view. Three examples are OK, five are great.
Also, choose your topics carefully. Look through all the previous question papers. In GP 8004, the question "Mathematics is the one true universal language" or something similar has almost always be repeated. You can prepare for these kinds of questions.
LEARN TO TAKE THIS NEGATIVE CRITICISM POSITIVELY, AND YOU WILL EXCEL. I MEAN ONLY GOOD, PLEASE DO NOT BE ANGRY WITH ME FOR BEING HONEST. I HOPE YOU GET AN A AND NOTHING LESS! BEST OF LUCK!!!
Almost forgot, this would receive a D from the most generous examiner.

 

[pakiboy]

thats great on part of u! I know i'll get wat i deserve no need to be kind with me!!!!
One more thing can i improve my grammar by just reading?

 

[pakiboy]

Pardon me if I seem rude, but you wanted an honest opinion.
Your essay reeks of desperation to impress, and lacks sufficient number of examples. You are skimming and not going directly to the point.
Turn the dictionary to "aura" I think what you mean is "era" aura is a completely different thing.
"Fend" sort of means "defend" so I do not understand what you mean in the part " machine greatly fends the current educational needs".
Your essay is full of words used in the wrong place and grammatical errors.
Do not go into using too many fancy/heavy words, people with weak vocabulary often force them into their essays, without knowing the appropriate sentences in which to use these words. This is a GP essay and not a SAT essay. You will not be heavily penalised for using simple english terms, but use words you do not completely know the meaning of, and then a sentence loses its meaning, which will cause you to lose much more in the long run. A grammatically correct essay is always impressive.
You have a great problem with starting sentences. It seems that you panic and try to write something cool, but end up writing pointless stuff. Like: "Time, which never comes back..........." or " In the concluding part.......". Time has a substantial effect in one's life would be short and full of meaning. Remove the "in the concluding part" part and you have a great conclusion. You are very weak in grammar and should really work on it. Probably too late by now, should've done it six years ago!(But hey, its just my opinion, people usually say "Its never too late") You seem to start a lot of sentences with nouns, it does not sound that good. It is all right to write a conclusion(or any other paragraph) even longer than five sentences.
You have to work hard. And remember, give at least one example in each paragraph to support your view. Three examples are OK, five are great.
Also, choose your topics carefully. Look through all the previous question papers. In GP 8004, the question "Mathematics is the one true universal language" or something similar has almost always be repeated. You can prepare for these kinds of questions.
LEARN TO TAKE THIS NEGATIVE CRITICISM POSITIVELY, AND YOU WILL EXCEL. I MEAN ONLY GOOD, PLEASE DO NOT BE ANGRY WITH ME FOR BEING HONEST. I HOPE YOU GET AN A AND NOTHING LESS! BEST OF LUCK!!!
Almost forgot, this would receive a D from the most generous examiner.

thats great on part of u! I know i'll get wat i deserve no need to be kind with me!!!!
One more thing can i improve my grammar by just reading?

 

[Doggybros]

thats great on part of u! I know i'll get wat i deserve no need to be kind with me!!!!
One more thing can i improve my grammar by just reading?

Yeah, try and study newspapers, if you are interested in the news. If not, then you should try reading novels. Grammar is not something you should burn into your memory. It kinda stays there when you know how to write a correct sentence.

 

[AlphaCentauri]

thats great on part of u! I know i'll get wat i deserve no need to be kind with me!!!!
One more thing can i improve my grammar by just reading?

>> The Economist.

No other newsletter I know exalts English as The Economist does.

 

[Amy Bloom]

Hey pakiboy
Read these online papers The Economist, The Guardian. You might find some useful examples there to put into ur essays.

 

[pakiboy]

thank you guyz for ur sincere advice will be soon writing an other essay after i feel i have improved a little!!

 

[Amy Bloom]

thank you guyz for ur sincere advice will be soon writing an other essay after i feel i have improved a little!!

Most welcome!
My pleasure to comment

 

[pakiboy]

Most welcome!
My pleasure to comment [/quote
Hahahaha