Short Story Competition

[Rutzaba]

ok this is not related to anything above..i ve tried to write something n i need suggestions. Hows it?

She lingered on her fragile legs as she attempted to flee, a feeble attempt indeed. They would be behind her any time but she was running, running away from her life, her destiny. She wished she would shrink down into nothing. She cursed everything that had befallen her. The darkened sky above with patches of silvered clouds worsened her grievances. Was she destined to live such a life? A question that whirled in her mind every now. Suddenly she felt so relieved, as if there were no legs, the pain had fainted. She fell gracefully on the thorns and crumpled leaves beneath her, waiting for the angel of death to come, spread the wings of tenderness and take her to the land of peace, to lead her away from the world that was so cruel. The world that had nothing to give her but take everything from her.

For the last time, she could see the red glisten.

bravvvvaaaaaaa senorita!!!
excellent vocabulary and a gripping writing style. The grammar is awsum. Excpt for a few small things say
In the 5 th line it shud b now n then* in the same line i think relieved cud have been replaced by a better more suitable word. Apart from that i think we have a writer among us! Thumbs up!

 

[Rutzaba]

I like writing, but my imagination is close to non-existent. Writer's Block. :/

U mean imagination is not that gud nowadays only?

 

[Lilly2318]

bravvvvaaaaaaa senorita!!!
excellent vocabulary and a gripping writing style. The grammar is awsum. Excpt for a few small things say
In the 5 th line it shud b now n then* in the same line i think relieved cud have been replaced by a better more suitable word. Apart from that i think we have a writer among us! Thumbs up!

thnx!

 

[MarcoReus]

U mean imagination is not that gud nowadays only?

Yes and No. Nowadays, I can't imagine stuff. When it's school and I am in the mood of writing - usually I get the odd new ideas but every idea is strongly linked to a plot I have already witnessed/read (games, movies, real-life, books).

 

[Rutzaba]

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/b8/d7/c9/b8d7c984128b7a6d7f8459d2ec9e4c9a.jpg

 

[Rutzaba]

 

[MarcoReus]

Ok then, here goes.

That glory and perplexed night had many secrets hidden in it. Mystified secrets, concealed from my eyes. Everywhere I looked, all I saw was a never-ending ocean with every way leading to an abyss. I gazed up at the sky, a look of despair fixated on my face, begging for mercy. I found none, an unforgiving, relentless thunderstorm poured down that enjoyed every bit of my suffering. I stared down to the ocean, but I couldn't even stare at myself. As I struggled to find shelter, the brutal reality dawned on me. This is how it had to end, because this is how I ended everyone else. The same people who's existence was considered worthless to me were the people who reminded me how they lived every day, fighting and surviving against Mother Nature. It took me twelve years to realize this, but by the time I have it is far too late. I could have made the difference in their lives but now I can't make one in mine. I hope this great city and the people find a worthy leader, a task I dismally failed in. Now, I am exiled to the same fate as I exiled my brother. I stood up on the plank, took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I let my body loose and within seconds disappeared from the Earth.

I went with a sadist tone and it doesn't make sense with a dead guy describing how he died - but well, that's how it works in writing.

 

[Rutzaba]

Ok then, here goes.

That glory and perplexed night had many secrets hidden in it. Mystified secrets, concealed from my eyes. Everywhere I looked, all I saw was a never-ending ocean with every way leading to an abyss. I gazed up at the sky, a look of despair fixated on my face, begging for mercy. I found none, an unforgiving, relentless thunderstorm poured down that enjoyed every bit of my suffering. I stared down to the ocean, but I couldn't even stare at myself. As I struggled to find shelter, the brutal reality dawned on me. This is how it had to end, because this is how I ended everyone else. The same people who's existence was considered worthless to me were the people who reminded me how they lived every day, fighting and surviving against Mother Nature. It took me twelve years to realize this, but by the time I have it is far too late. I could have made the difference in their lives but now I can't make one in mine. I hope this great city and the people find a worthy leader, a task I dismally failed in. Now, I am exiled to the same fate as I exiled my brother. I stood up on the plank, took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I let my body loose and within seconds disappeared from the Earth.

I went with a sadist tone and it doesn't make sense with a dead guy describing how he died - but well, that's how it works in writing.

i think its awesome

 

[Rutzaba]

Okay guys new topic ahoy...
combine three of the elements and make a story...
1.Identical twins, a party invitation, and a locked closet.
Muhammad TAimoor MarcoReus lily863

 

[MarcoReus]

Does the place always die down around these days?

 

[Lilly2318]

Okay guys new topic ahoy...
combine three of the elements and make a story...
1.Identical twins, a party invitation, and a locked closet.
Muhammad TAimoor MarcoReus lily863

mayb u got the wrong person tagged ..!! lilly2318..well i'll start writing in a few hours

 

[Rutzaba]

ok heres how mine starts
It had all started with the new friends Dad invited to the party held at our house every year. Every year people all over the city would come and enjoy one of the greatest feasts the city had to offer at our house. Big shots, business men, stock brokers- the elite. Who ever had a decent amount of shares in any of the bigger companies made sure to attend the parties held in my home, mainly due to my dad’s reputation in the business.


It was one such evening that my dad introduced me to Mr. Hewitt as his latest colleague. Everything about Mr. Hewitt was as ordinary and boring as that of any businessman, but there was one thing that caught my attention in the whole. Elisa Hewitt, at the age of 22 stood a magnificent 5 foot 7 inches, with a mop of blonde hair and eyes as blue as they can get captured the attention of a great many investors and admittedly she was the only thing to look at in the entire gentry.

 

[Muhammad TAimoor]

“SCARY”

He reached for the door. The cold rusty door knob took him by surprise, but he managed to cope with it. It opened with a slight creak, announcing someone’s arrival to the darkness inside. A burst of burnt flesh robbed his sense of smell. His pupils dilated to consume in the features of the barren room.

Blood was spilled like water, everywhere, covering most of the debris. He hesitated at first, but there was no option. Stepping cautiously onto the slimy floor, he looked for the signs. Signs that would lead him out. Far off in the corner, something caught his attention.

Something moved.

He could only notice the movement, but couldn’t figure out the shape; courtesy of his glasses. It rose from the floor, covered in blood, and stood static in middle air for a moment. He couldn’t move. “Neighbors?”, hushed the creature. His lifeless body couldn’t reply.

“Neighbors?!”, shouted the creature.

He could only force out a stammering yes.

“Let’s serve you then”, the bony thing said.

His mind raced for a synaptic response and brought life back to his numb legs. Without wasting a moment, he raced forward. Screams followed his foot trails in the blood, but he had no reason to stop.

“Look for it, look for the way out”, his thoughts protested.

Suddenly, at the farther end of the long corridor, a faint glimmer of sunlight through the cabinet attracted him.

“That!”, his thoughts picked up the pace.

Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced back for split second.

The creature was riding on his back. He stumbled like a dead horse and collapsed on the ground, just a few inches away from the cabinet. His glasses fell off into the darkness behind, and the only thing accompanying him was his fear.

He stared into the dead space behind him, waiting for it. Everything was blurred. A white figured stepped forward slowly. Long bony hands emerged from the blurred image carrying a tray. A faint giggle accompanied.

“Neighbors will be served”, it whispered. “Served wh..hat?”, he stammered, retreating slowly. “Death”, was all he could hear.

He sprang backward towards the cabinet for his life and caught hold of the closet door. He rushed outside in a split second, and found himself in heavenly sunlight.

“Damn you, Haunted houses! This Halloween stunt is way above the line!” he mocked the house and wandered off, not knowing that something was still there on his back.

 

[Rutzaba]

“SCARY”

He reached for the door. The cold rusty door knob took him by surprise, but he managed to cope with it. It opened with a slight creak, announcing someone’s arrival to the darkness inside. A burst of burnt flesh robbed his sense of smell. His pupils dilated to consume in the features of the barren room.

Blood was spilled like water, everywhere, covering most of the debris. He hesitated at first, but there was no option. Stepping cautiously onto the slimy floor, he looked for the signs. Signs that would lead him out. Far off in the corner, something caught his attention.

Something moved.

He could only notice the movement, but couldn’t figure out the shape; courtesy of his glasses. It rose from the floor, covered in blood, and stood static in middle air for a moment. He couldn’t move. “Neighbors?”, hushed the creature. His lifeless body couldn’t reply.

“Neighbors?!”, shouted the creature.

He could only force out a stammering yes.

“Let’s serve you then”, the bony thing said.

His mind raced for a synaptic response and brought life back to his numb legs. Without wasting a moment, he raced forward. Screams followed his foot trails in the blood, but he had no reason to stop.

“Look for it, look for the way out”, his thoughts protested.

Suddenly, at the farther end of the long corridor, a faint glimmer of sunlight through the cabinet attracted him.

“That!”, his thoughts picked up the pace.

Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced back for split second.

The creature was riding on his back. He stumbled like a dead horse and collapsed on the ground, just a few inches away from the cabinet. His glasses fell off into the darkness behind, and the only thing accompanying him was his fear.

He stared into the dead space behind him, waiting for it. Everything was blurred. A white figured stepped forward slowly. Long bony hands emerged from the blurred image carrying a tray. A faint giggle accompanied.

“Neighbors will be served”, it whispered. “Served wh..hat?”, he stammered, retreating slowly. “Death”, was all he could hear.

He sprang backward towards the cabinet for his life and caught hold of the closet door. He rushed outside in a split second, and found himself in heavenly sunlight.

“Damn you, Haunted houses! This Halloween stunt is way above the line!” he mocked the house and wandered off, not knowing that something was still there on his back.

wooooooooooo hooooooooooooooooo
competition winner of nusttttttt!!!!!!!!!

 

[Muhammad TAimoor]

wooooooooooo hooooooooooooooooo
competition winner of nusttttttt!!!!!!!!!

Thankyou!

 

[Rutzaba]

loooooooooonnnnnnnngggggggg tttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeee

 

[Rutzaba]

“SCARY”

He reached for the door. The cold rusty door knob took him by surprise, but he managed to cope with it. It opened with a slight creak, announcing someone’s arrival to the darkness inside. A burst of burnt flesh robbed his sense of smell. His pupils dilated to consume in the features of the barren room.

Blood was spilled like water, everywhere, covering most of the debris. He hesitated at first, but there was no option. Stepping cautiously onto the slimy floor, he looked for the signs. Signs that would lead him out. Far off in the corner, something caught his attention.

Something moved.

He could only notice the movement, but couldn’t figure out the shape; courtesy of his glasses. It rose from the floor, covered in blood, and stood static in middle air for a moment. He couldn’t move. “Neighbors?”, hushed the creature. His lifeless body couldn’t reply.

“Neighbors?!”, shouted the creature.

He could only force out a stammering yes.

“Let’s serve you then”, the bony thing said.

His mind raced for a synaptic response and brought life back to his numb legs. Without wasting a moment, he raced forward. Screams followed his foot trails in the blood, but he had no reason to stop.

“Look for it, look for the way out”, his thoughts protested.

Suddenly, at the farther end of the long corridor, a faint glimmer of sunlight through the cabinet attracted him.

“That!”, his thoughts picked up the pace.

Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced back for split second.

The creature was riding on his back. He stumbled like a dead horse and collapsed on the ground, just a few inches away from the cabinet. His glasses fell off into the darkness behind, and the only thing accompanying him was his fear.

He stared into the dead space behind him, waiting for it. Everything was blurred. A white figured stepped forward slowly. Long bony hands emerged from the blurred image carrying a tray. A faint giggle accompanied.

“Neighbors will be served”, it whispered. “Served wh..hat?”, he stammered, retreating slowly. “Death”, was all he could hear.

He sprang backward towards the cabinet for his life and caught hold of the closet door. He rushed outside in a split second, and found himself in heavenly sunlight.

“Damn you, Haunted houses! This Halloween stunt is way above the line!” he mocked the house and wandered off, not knowing that something was still there on his back.

i remember this budy
:'( miss u

 

[Rizwan Javed]

I don't know about the rules of the competition, but still posting a story
-----
It was a cold night in September. The rain was drumming on the car roof as Mr. Chris and Mrs. Jane drove through the empty country roads towards the house of their friends, Mr. Berry and Mrs. Brown, where they were going to attend a party to celebrate the engagement of the Berry’s daughter. As they drove, they listened to the local radio station, which was playing classical music. They were about five miles from their destination when the music on the radio was interrupted by a news announcement.

“The Police has issued a serious warning after a man escaped from the Mental Hospital earlier this evening. The man, Mr. Butcher is a murderer who killed six people before he was captured two years ago. He is described as large, very strong and extremely dangerous. People in the area are warned to keep their doors and windows locked and to call the police immediately if they see anyone acting strangely”

Jane shivered. “A crazy killer. And he’s out there somewhere. That’s scary.”

“Don’t worry about it," said her husband. “We’re nearly there now. Anyway we have more important things to worry about. This car is losing power for some reason – it must be that old problem with the carburetor. If it gets any worse, we’ll have to stay at the Berry’s house tonight and get it fixed before we travel back tomorrow”

As he spoke, the car began to slow down. Chris pressed the accelerator, but the engine only coughed. Finally they rolled to a halt, as the engine died completely. Just as they stopped, Chris pulled the car off the road and it came to rest under a large tree.

“Blast!” said Chris angrily, “now we’ll have to walk in the rain.”

“But that’ll take us an hour at least,” said Jane. “And I have my high-heeled shoes and my nice clothes on. They’ll be ruined!”

“Well, you’ll have to wait while I run to the nearest house and call Berry. He can come out and pick us up,” said Chris.

“But, Chris! Have you forgotten what the radio said? There’s a homicidal maniac out there! You can’t leave me alone here!”

“You’ll have to hide in the back of the car. Lock all the doors and lie on the floor in the back, under this blanket. No-one will see you. When I come back. I’ll knock three times on the door. Then you can get up and open it. Don’t open it unless you hear three knocks.” Chris opened the door and slipped out into the rain. He quickly disappeared into darkness.

Jane quickly locked down and settled down under the blanket in the back for a long wait. She was frightened and worried but she was a strong-minded woman. She had not been waiting long. However when she heard a strange scratching noise. It seemed to be coming from the roof of the car. Jane was terrified. She listened, holding her breath. Then she heard three slow knocks, one after the other, also on the roof of the car. Was it her husband? Then she heard another knock and another. This was probably not her husband. It was somebody – or something – else. She was shaking with fear. But she forced herself to lie still. The knocking continued – bump, bump, bump, bump, and bump.

Many hours later, as the sun rose, she was still lying there. She had not slept for a moment. The knocking had never stopped, all night long. She did not know what to do. Suddenly, she heard the sound of three or four vehicles, racing quickly down the road. All of them pulled up around her, their tires screeching on the road. At last! Someone had come! Jane sat up quickly and looked out of the window. The three vehicles were all police cars, and two still had their lights flashing. Several policeman leap out. One of them rushed towards the car as Jane opened the door. He took her by the hand.

“Get out of the car and walk with me to the police vehicle. Miss you’re safe now. Look straight ahead. Keep looking at the police car. Don’t look back. Just don’t look back.”

Something in the way he spoke filled Jane with cold horror. She could not help herself. About ten yards from the police car, she stopped, turned and looked back at the empty vehicle.

Chris was hanging from the tree above the car, a rope tied around his neck. As the wind blew his body back and forth, his feet were bumping gently on the roof of the car – bump, bump, bump, bump, and bump.

 

[Muhammad TAimoor]

There was once a boy, who had dreams. He would spend his nights looking at the stars, trying to reach their heights. He would admire the brightness of moon, wanting to be as bright. He was quiet, silent with his words. But when he chose to spoke, nobody could defy him. His words couldn't be understood, because maybe the wisdom was too much to decipher. His eyes spoke for him whenever he looked at you. He was a mystery, ready to be unsolved. A character people would have used in their novels. A person idealist looked forward to. He was meant to be. But it couldn't happen because he couldn't speak, Not because he didn't want to but he couldn't. So he made up a world of his own, deep inside his mind, where everything was just the way he thought it would be. Where everything was bright and lit, where his fears of failure did not exist, where he was understood. And whenever people saw that boy, walking silently down the street, they did not know for where he was in his thoughts. He was among the stars.

 

[Muhammad TAimoor]

Lab was quiet. He could hear his hearts beating. That quiet. He moved across the table to pick up his spectacles, rubbed clean the three rims and set them back to their spot. Perfect. It was always quiet here. Sometimes, he wondered why would they even detail someone over this barren land to watch for the signals, when there never was anyone on the other side. Deeper space was a false hope and a myth, there will never be any reply. There was no one out there. He was sure. Out of the routine beep bops of the machines, he suddenly heard a faint dot. He sat straight up. He heard it again, this time, stronger. He got up on his arms, and stared at the screen with his eyes popped. The signal was there. The found Humans atlast.