Short Story Competition

[Imaan]

^^ Okay so my guess, as an act of revenge for his daughter, he joins the some group kinda thing. He must've joined forces to die a martyr I guess, Army maybe. Can't deduce anything else

LOL, almost right but not completely. Then again, it is only the 1st chapter, so its kinda hard to deduce much. But you could deduce more , not a good skimmer !
It is actually based on a true story about Syria. Where a family is caught up between the politics/different sects/etc and thus forced to separate.
And yes/no , not the army, joined more like the rebels as you would call it, and Mujahideen as I would call it !

 

[Muhammad TAimoor]

LOL, almost right but not completely. Then again, it is only the 1st chapter, so its kinda hard to deduce much. But you could deduce more , not a good skimmer !
It is actually based on a true story about Syria. Where a family is caught up between the politics/different sects/etc and thus forced to separate.
And yes/no , not the army, joined more like the rebels as you would call it, and Mujahideen as I would call it !

Good plot, one can write alot of stuff on this topic with appropriate knowledge Okay well, deducing more, at one stage he might be blackmailed if the enemy gets his family, which in this case might be his mother. Coming towards the vague figure of his father, who knows he might still be out there with a greater probability of being with the enemy In that case, he might get an inside job to reach the man he wants to. No info about his wife, so no comments

 

[Imaan]

Good plot, one can write alot of stuff on this topic with appropriate knowledge Okay well, deducing more, at one stage he might be blackmailed if the enemy gets his family, which in this case might be his mother. Coming towards the vague figure of his father, who knows he might still be out there with a greater probability of being with the enemy In that case, he might get an inside job to reach the man he wants to. No info about his wife, so no comments

Thanks, yes it's my plot so it gotta be A1 !
Haha, yeah better this time round. Actually his Dad is imprisoned, that is why I said 'never with me'. And his wife was the traitor .
I can post the rest if you wanna read it.

 

[usama321]

Chapter 1
​

They came at night, using the darkness of the night as a cover for their cowardice. He knew his weapons stood no chance compared to their machinery. So, they were not prepared to meet face to face. Instead they chose the other available option.

He positioned himself on the wall, tucking his hair underneath the hoodie he used to disguise himself. He pretended to smoke. He picked up a twig from the ground, lit it and watched the tiny balls of smoke curl. He tried to portray himself as a normal guy sitting out on the street and enjoying himself. He wondered if the pilot in the cockpit could zoom in on his face. He had gone as far as shaving his beard that morning to disguise himself. He picked up a stick and wrote in the sand, ‘I am not yet ready to submit’.

He wasn’t afraid to die. He wasn’t sorry for his actions. He pitied nobody except his parents. He knew what it meant to lose a child. An only child! He experienced that, a month earlier with his little girl. She was only a year old, yet her memories never vanished. Imagine him, a 25 year old grown up! How many more memories will his parents have of him? He needed to leave before they started having fearful memories of him. He needed to remember that it was the end of him sleeping at home from now on. He thought back to the visit with his mother earlier.

‘Mother, tell them whatever you want. Tell them I am criminal. Tell them that you have cut ties with me. Tell them your son is a traitor. Mother, tell them as you like. As long as the message is loud and clear – you have nothing to do with me! You do not know if I am still alive!

She leant against the wall weakly. ‘My son, why do you have to do this?’

‘Mother not again,’ he scolded, ‘we’ve gone through this before!’

‘Mother, tomorrow I want you to stand tall and proud over my body,’ he said softly, ‘and announce to everyone proudly that my son died as a martyr. Mother, I do not want tears over my dead body. I want the happiest of smiles from you.’

She just started at him blankly.

‘Mother, bid me farewell for we may not meet again’.

He kissed her gently on her forehead before closing the door softly behind him, whispering in the darkness.

‘Father, you are not with me. Father you were never with me. Father, I just wanted to say I love you and Mother! Father, you mean the world to me. Without Mother and you, life is incomplete.

‘Father, father...’ he called out.

The wind blew harder and his voice faltered. He tied the scarf around his neck tighter and tucked his hands in his pocket to keep himself warmer.

He walked on and on until he reached her grave. He bent down to clear the dirt before sitting on a rock nearby. ‘Baby, I love you.’ He said in a hushed tone. ‘Tonight, Daddy might join you.’

He drew hearts in the sand above her grave and decorated it with flowers. The moon shone brightly over the grave making it look like a perfect scene.

In the distance a wolf howled followed by the buzz of a helicopter close by. This was not the place to be. He headed towards the beach, walking through the crowds as casual as possible.

And here he was now, sitting on the edge of the wall, mimicking some teen on the street, enjoying his night out. He pretended to play on the toy cellphone he kept in his pocket.

But, from the corner of his eye, he watched the plane circle once then twice. By the time it started its third round, he realised the truth too late...

I'd love to read more of it. It's great!!

 

[Imaan]

I'd love to read more of it. It's great!!

Thanks bro, will post the next chapter perhaps tomorrow or Saturday as I won't get much time to be online today.
BTW, you have a great username .

 

[usama321]

Thanks bro, will post the next chapter perhaps tomorrow or Saturday as I won't get much time to be online today.
BTW, you have a great username .

Waiting for it
Great username? I am actually stuck with it, i mean the 321 doesn't make any sense at all xD

 

[Muhammad TAimoor]

Thanks, yes it's my plot so it gotta be A1 !
Haha, yeah better this time round. Actually his Dad is imprisoned, that is why I said 'never with me'. And his wife was the traitor .
I can post the rest if you wanna read it.

Suree!

Waiting for it
Great username? I am actually stuck with it, i mean the 321 doesn't make any sense at all xD

Haha contact Badrobot And your avatar's too old, khuda k wastay change it!

 

[student8]

good way to receive likes....

 

[usama321]

Suree!

Haha contact Badrobot And your avatar's too old, khuda k wastay change it!

Actually i did. He didn't reply, so i'm pretty much stuck.

Old but level ka to hai na Kerta hun change.

 

[Imaan]

Waiting for it
Great username? I am actually stuck with it, i mean the 321 doesn't make any sense at all xD

LOL the 321 is kinda ok, I get that too when I try a username time and time again and it says taken. The last resort type any nonsense it !
The part I meant was Usama .

Okay, gonna post it right away.

 

[Imaan]

Suree!

Haha contact Badrobot And your avatar's too old, khuda k wastay change it!

Shame, why you minding the poor man's business haha. If he likes his avatar, let it be. People are always telling me about my profile photos and avatars, cos I am a gun lover ! But, I love it...

 

[Imaan]

Chapter 2​

When he looked at his cellphone, there were twenty missed calls from her. He didn’t bother to call back. Instead he read her SMS slowly and carefully: “Meet me at 12am at our beach lodge. It is urgent.”

He would not reply. He would leave her in suspense. Let her think he was not coming, but deep down he knew his curiosity would eventually make him go. So, how did she know he was in that part of the country?

He entered the lodge and there she was with a cache of weapons, pretending to clean them. He hid his look of surprise and instead, asked in a harsh tone, ‘Why are you here so late?’

She looked confused for a minute then answered slowly, ‘I found this AK47 and a few grenades on my way here and I thought you will need them. Did you not receive my SMS?’

He avoided her question but almost laughed out at it. So, she thought he was an idiot - on her way she found it, which gave her own plan away! She stated she was in ‘a hurry’ in the SMS.

‘Pack up and leave!’ he demanded loudly. ‘Your parents will be worried about you.’

‘Since when do you care about my parents?’ she retorted sarcastically.

He remained silent and watched her coldly until she knew better to leave.

He watched her leave in amusement, she knew he sensed something and tried to question him.

When he was sure she was faraway, he called her.

‘I am hungry.’ He said, ‘Did you not make anything to eat?’

‘No,’ she replied unkindly, ‘Why would I?’

‘Can’t you come back just fifteen minutes?’ he implored.

‘No, I am too far now, I am almost at my parents home.’ She stated.

‘Liar,’ he blurted out before she hung up.

He chuckled out loudly to himself. ‘Great! That was what he wanted to make sure off; that she was miles away before he left. The cheek of her to think he was so naive to sleep over here’.

He scanned the lodge thoroughly for any suspicious signs then carefully laid the bug under the lounge mat.

He opened the backdoor slowly and softly; making sure nobody was watching and nothing around seemed unfamiliar. He headed out cautiously but not before slinging the rifle across his shoulder and packing the grenades in his backpack. That ‘bastard’ he muttered, ‘will not get me this time.’

He walked at an even pace until he knew it was safe to open speed. Then he fastened his pace before running deep in the mountains. He positioned himself safely on a mountain peak, so that he could view their beach lodge. He checked his watch, half an hour had gone by. To pass time, he checked the rifle out. That ‘bastard’ made sure not to load it. How many times he wished he could have pumped a few bullets in her cold heartless heart? That he would never do! Harm a woman! No matter how much he hated them. His thoughts went back to his little girl, the last time he had seen her. That dreadful day...

How she had begged him that afternoon to take her to beach, to their lodge.

‘No baby, not now. Daddy has some work to finish. I promise you I will take you tonight.’

‘The beach is not fun at night Daddy, please,’ she implored. Her bright blue eyes filled with tears.

But, he did not give in. He could not, it was too dangerous. Neither, could he explain to his little girl that – she was too young to understand anyway. Instead, he took out her favourite puzzles and laid them out in a line.

‘Come on now darling, be a good girl while Daddy finishes his work, then I’ll be back before you even know it.’

He kissed her goodbye and told her something to make her laugh. Little did he know it was the last he would see of his little ‘girlie’.

That evening when he returned, her lifeless body lay on the bed. Her innocent red blood stained the white bedding. Her silky black hair falling on the pillow...

Those cowards! How could they? An innocent child! It was clear it was ‘them’ and not any criminals. They took nothing from his home, except her life. Three rounds pumped in his baby’s heart. He cried and cried. His tears mixed with her blood and it flowed like a tiny stream. He kissed her, covering his face in her blood. She was gone! His’ baby was gone. Nothing would bring her back. ‘Those cowards, those cowards...’ he cried out, punching the bed.

He had promised himself to give her the life he didn’t have – be that fatherly figure at home that he had painfully missed out on. He had promised to not let his outside life affect his personal life. No, she was to grow up like any other girl, free from a political life and free from the dangers he experienced.

But, here she was now. Dead. What kind of a MAN was he? Unable to protect his little girl!

He kept thinking of her last few moments – the pain, terror and loneliness! The cold fact that there was nobody to protect her in those last few minutes made his rage increase. Where was that ‘bastard’ when his little girl’s life was being taken?

His thoughts were interrupted by the bombing nearby. He knew immediately it was the beach lodge. He laughed so hard, so that was what that ‘bastard’ intended; - for him to be killed tonight. He watched with an amused expression, as the bombs fell one after another. In less than a minute the lodge was in piles of rubble.

He wondered if his body would have stood any chance of being ‘whole’ if he was in there. If it did, that meant he had to still be on the run, they would search the rubble later for signs of his body. He watched the smoke and dust rise and the piles of debris gather. The beach was quite at this time of the morning, everybody was probably asleep. He let his eyelids close for a moment, while he waited for dawn to break. He felt tired, betrayed and angry.

 

[Muhammad TAimoor]

Chapter 2​

When he looked at his cellphone, there were twenty missed calls from her. He didn’t bother to call back. Instead he read her SMS slowly and carefully: “Meet me at 12am at our beach lodge. It is urgent.”

He would not reply. He would leave her in suspense. Let her think he was not coming, but deep down he knew his curiosity would eventually make him go. So, how did she know he was in that part of the country?

He entered the lodge and there she was with a cache of weapons, pretending to clean them. He hid his look of surprise and instead, asked in a harsh tone, ‘Why are you here so late?’

She looked confused for a minute then answered slowly, ‘I found this AK47 and a few grenades on my way here and I thought you will need them. Did you not receive my SMS?’

He avoided her question but almost laughed out at it. So, she thought he was an idiot - on her way she found it, which gave her own plan away! She stated she was in ‘a hurry’ in the SMS.

‘Pack up and leave!’ he demanded loudly. ‘Your parents will be worried about you.’

‘Since when do you care about my parents?’ she retorted sarcastically.

He remained silent and watched her coldly until she knew better to leave.

He watched her leave in amusement, she knew he sensed something and tried to question him.

When he was sure she was faraway, he called her.

‘I am hungry.’ He said, ‘Did you not make anything to eat?’

‘No,’ she replied unkindly, ‘Why would I?’

‘Can’t you come back just fifteen minutes?’ he implored.

‘No, I am too far now, I am almost at my parents home.’ She stated.

‘Liar,’ he blurted out before she hung up.

He chuckled out loudly to himself. ‘Great! That was what he wanted to make sure off; that she was miles away before he left. The cheek of her to think he was so naive to sleep over here’.

He scanned the lodge thoroughly for any suspicious signs then carefully laid the bug under the lounge mat.

He opened the backdoor slowly and softly; making sure nobody was watching and nothing around seemed unfamiliar. He headed out cautiously but not before slinging the rifle across his shoulder and packing the grenades in his backpack. That ‘bastard’ he muttered, ‘will not get me this time.’

He walked at an even pace until he knew it was safe to open speed. Then he fastened his pace before running deep in the mountains. He positioned himself safely on a mountain peak, so that he could view their beach lodge. He checked his watch, half an hour had gone by. To pass time, he checked the rifle out. That ‘bastard’ made sure not to load it. How many times he wished he could have pumped a few bullets in her cold heartless heart? That he would never do! Harm a woman! No matter how much he hated them. His thoughts went back to his little girl, the last time he had seen her. That dreadful day...

How she had begged him that afternoon to take her to beach, to their lodge.

‘No baby, not now. Daddy has some work to finish. I promise you I will take you tonight.’

‘The beach is not fun at night Daddy, please,’ she implored. Her bright blue eyes filled with tears.

But, he did not give in. He could not, it was too dangerous. Neither, could he explain to his little girl that – she was too young to understand anyway. Instead, he took out her favourite puzzles and laid them out in a line.

‘Come on now darling, be a good girl while Daddy finishes his work, then I’ll be back before you even know it.’

He kissed her goodbye and told her something to make her laugh. Little did he know it was the last he would see of his little ‘girlie’.

That evening when he returned, her lifeless body lay on the bed. Her innocent red blood stained the white bedding. Her silky black hair falling on the pillow...

Those cowards! How could they? An innocent child! It was clear it was ‘them’ and not any criminals. They took nothing from his home, except her life. Three rounds pumped in his baby’s heart. He cried and cried. His tears mixed with her blood and it flowed like a tiny stream. He kissed her, covering his face in her blood. She was gone! His’ baby was gone. Nothing would bring her back. ‘Those cowards, those cowards...’ he cried out, punching the bed.

He had promised himself to give her the life he didn’t have – be that fatherly figure at home that he had painfully missed out on. He had promised to not let his outside life affect his personal life. No, she was to grow up like any other girl, free from a political life and free from the dangers he experienced.

But, here she was now. Dead. What kind of a MAN was he? Unable to protect his little girl!

He kept thinking of her last few moments – the pain, terror and loneliness! The cold fact that there was nobody to protect her in those last few minutes made his rage increase. Where was that ‘bastard’ when his little girl’s life was being taken?

His thoughts were interrupted by the bombing nearby. He knew immediately it was the beach lodge. He laughed so hard, so that was what that ‘bastard’ intended; - for him to be killed tonight. He watched with an amused expression, as the bombs fell one after another. In less than a minute the lodge was in piles of rubble.

He wondered if his body would have stood any chance of being ‘whole’ if he was in there. If it did, that meant he had to still be on the run, they would search the rubble later for signs of his body. He watched the smoke and dust rise and the piles of debris gather. The beach was quite at this time of the morning, everybody was probably asleep. He let his eyelids close for a moment, while he waited for dawn to break. He felt tired, betrayed and angry.

Good one

 

[Rutzaba]

wats up here

 

[Muhammad TAimoor]

wats up here

She's writing, and we are kinda guessing what she's gonna do next

 

[Imaan]

She's writing, and we are kinda guessing what she's gonna do next

Except I finish tell u, she was the wife ! But, other than that, your guessing was smart !

 

[Muhammad TAimoor]

You just finished the novel before even starting it

 

[Imaan]

You just finished the novel before even starting it

Who said it is finished LOL ? I have many more chapters. If you guys want I can keep on posting though I am not completed with it. I only wrote about 15 chapters so far! Problem with me is, I start a story, then get a new idea , and start another. I got like 15 unfinished stories and only 4 finished ones. Though, I can't post my finished ones anywhere, cos I entered them into some competitions, and the rule is one can't publish or post them until the competition is over !

 

[Muhammad TAimoor]

Happens with me all the time It's the sole reason why I shifted to short stories
15 Whole chapters? That's like, ALOT of work :O

 

[Rutzaba]

I see. Inspirations ended up on me. Y dun u write to inspire me?