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Jokes
A retired man moves near a junior high school. He spends the first few weeks of retirement in peace and quiet. However, when a new school year begins, three young boys beat on every trash can they encounter every day on their way home from school. Finally, the man decides to take action and... -
Jokes
Three men discuss the Christmas presents they bought for their wives. The first man says that he bought his wife a vacation home in the Bahamas and one in Jamaica. "That way," he explains, "if she doesn't like one, she can use the other." The second man says he had bought his wife a sports car... -
Jokes
A little boy and his grandfather rake leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in... -
Jokes
William and Mildred decided to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. William went to the front desk to check them in while Mildred stayed with the car. As he was leaving the lobby, a young woman dressed in a very short skirt introduced herself as Candie. William... -
Jokes
Taking a break from the campaign trail, John McCain decides to take in a movie. After buying his ticket, he stops at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $5, he says, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn didn't cost anywhere near this much money. "... -
Jokes
A girl invites her boyfriend over for dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner she wants to have sex with him for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but nervous because he's a virgin. He goes to the pharmacy to get some condoms. He tells... -
Jokes
A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral... -
Jokes
An engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. The frog speaks up again and says, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one... -
Jokes
Joe woke up one morning with an enormous boner, but his wife was already preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Joe was afraid he might spoil things by getting up, so he grabbed his cell phone and texted his wife: "The tent pole is up, the canvas is spread. The hell with breakfast, come back to... -
Jokes
One Sunday morning, a little girl and her mother go to church. Halfway through, the little girl tells her mother she's going to be sick. Her mother tells her to go in the bushes behind the church. The girl leaves and comes back after about five minutes. Her mother asks her if she threw up... -
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.- nirvana
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If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.- nirvana
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If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.
If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.- nirvana
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Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.- nirvana
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