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Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim:
Before starting my topic i would like to clarify that this thread has not been aimed at anyone, and i mean it. No one is being pinpointed at over here, I am only talking in the generalized view.
Boyfriends, girlfriends, crushes...what are these? Boyfriends: friends who are boys, apparently; girlfriends: friends who are girls, and crushes: something that probably lies in between...
You see, humans are not free of desires. In fact, the whole reason why this bf/gf relationship is made unlawful is because it was going to happen. It is bound to happen. And there's no blaming humans for it to happen because it was mixed in our nature to be that way. Once the human reaches puberty, all these feelings come along, it's only hormonal. But the question is, if "desires" were mixed in human nature, why has it been made unlawful for us?
It hasn't.
Overstepping our boundaries has been made unlawful. You may like someone, because of the looks, personality, commitment and so many more reasons, that's not wrong...liking someone isn't wrong. It's guarding your Nafs that's the problem. Because eventually, liking gives rise to so-called loving or crushing as the teenagers nowadays name it...and this is where it becomes unlawful.
Like the person, no body's stopping you, say MashAllah, and walk off..if you fear that you're going to fall into fitnah, then avoid the person..avoid him/her for it may facilitate Shaytan's job for him...which is not what we must be doing..
First of all, for men, the best way to control the Nafs is either by growing a beard, or fasting, or both.
For females, there's a whole list of things we mustn't do
Of which I'll mention but a few:
These are but a few i could mention...
Next..some people like one another due to spiritual reasons, which again, isn't bad. There're very good Muslim brothers and sisters who are youthful and active in spreading their Din, mashAllah..and a Muslim brother might like a Muslim sister for it or the other way round. However this doesn't mean that we stop whatever we're doing! It only means that if you feel the other is trying to get too close, always remember to mention that you're a sister/ brother, and that Islam has set up it's boundaries that we must not cross..then, anything at all will automatically make us feel the Ghairah, or the self-consciousness and we will mentally know that we mustn't overstep any boundaries...this way, reminding each other would benefit us in two ways: we won't fall into illegal, shameful stuff, and it will give us more points since we are enjoining good and forbidding evil..don't you think?
I don't really have much time, or i would have quoted many Ahadith and Ayaat from the Qur'an and Sunnah, and i would've placed deeper thought to this topic..but nevertheless, i hope i cleared off any doubts regarding it...
Please feel free to ask any questions, either over here or through pm I'd be more than pleased to answer your questions for you..
May Allah make this month a source of guidance for us, so that we may be able to control our Nafs and prevent ourselves from the plots of the Shaytan..May He forgive all of our sins in this blessed month, purify us, cleanse us, and scrub off us any impurity...may this month be a cure to our spiritual and physical illnesses, and May our scale of good deeds outweigh our scale of bad deeds in the Akhira, so that we enter Jannatul Firdaus, united and successful, in sha Allah
-Aameen-
Ramadan Kareem!!
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim:
Before starting my topic i would like to clarify that this thread has not been aimed at anyone, and i mean it. No one is being pinpointed at over here, I am only talking in the generalized view.
Boyfriends, girlfriends, crushes...what are these? Boyfriends: friends who are boys, apparently; girlfriends: friends who are girls, and crushes: something that probably lies in between...
You see, humans are not free of desires. In fact, the whole reason why this bf/gf relationship is made unlawful is because it was going to happen. It is bound to happen. And there's no blaming humans for it to happen because it was mixed in our nature to be that way. Once the human reaches puberty, all these feelings come along, it's only hormonal. But the question is, if "desires" were mixed in human nature, why has it been made unlawful for us?
It hasn't.
Overstepping our boundaries has been made unlawful. You may like someone, because of the looks, personality, commitment and so many more reasons, that's not wrong...liking someone isn't wrong. It's guarding your Nafs that's the problem. Because eventually, liking gives rise to so-called loving or crushing as the teenagers nowadays name it...and this is where it becomes unlawful.
Like the person, no body's stopping you, say MashAllah, and walk off..if you fear that you're going to fall into fitnah, then avoid the person..avoid him/her for it may facilitate Shaytan's job for him...which is not what we must be doing..
First of all, for men, the best way to control the Nafs is either by growing a beard, or fasting, or both.
For females, there's a whole list of things we mustn't do
Of which I'll mention but a few:- Don't look too attractive, wear your Jilbab- or any lose clothing..for women who wear Abayas..for God's Sake, quit making them perfectly fit on yourselves! The whole point of a jilbab is to prevent you from revealing your figure..
- Don't wear too much make-up in public, if you really can't help it, wear a Niqab..but even those who wear a Niqab make sure their eyes look pretty-NO..stay simple, no make-up.
- Dark colored abayas are usually preferred, not bright, attractive colors..
- When speaking in public, maintain a stern, strict (but not harsh) voice to prevent attraction..
- Always go out with a Mehrem, I strongly suggest...it only prevents you from doing something you shouldn't be doing, although i've seen many women who controlled themselves well without one, mashAllah..
These are but a few i could mention...
Next..some people like one another due to spiritual reasons, which again, isn't bad. There're very good Muslim brothers and sisters who are youthful and active in spreading their Din, mashAllah..and a Muslim brother might like a Muslim sister for it or the other way round. However this doesn't mean that we stop whatever we're doing! It only means that if you feel the other is trying to get too close, always remember to mention that you're a sister/ brother, and that Islam has set up it's boundaries that we must not cross..then, anything at all will automatically make us feel the Ghairah, or the self-consciousness and we will mentally know that we mustn't overstep any boundaries...this way, reminding each other would benefit us in two ways: we won't fall into illegal, shameful stuff, and it will give us more points since we are enjoining good and forbidding evil..don't you think?
I don't really have much time, or i would have quoted many Ahadith and Ayaat from the Qur'an and Sunnah, and i would've placed deeper thought to this topic..but nevertheless, i hope i cleared off any doubts regarding it...
Please feel free to ask any questions, either over here or through pm
I'd be more than pleased to answer your questions for you..May Allah make this month a source of guidance for us, so that we may be able to control our Nafs and prevent ourselves from the plots of the Shaytan..May He forgive all of our sins in this blessed month, purify us, cleanse us, and scrub off us any impurity...may this month be a cure to our spiritual and physical illnesses, and May our scale of good deeds outweigh our scale of bad deeds in the Akhira, so that we enter Jannatul Firdaus, united and successful, in sha Allah
-Aameen-
Ramadan Kareem!!
