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How to gain a mass appeal from classmates?

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See it begins in this way. I am in a full energetic mood as I am being admitted to the college(1st year) after three years spent on homeschooling. Well this homeschooling was kinda totally cut out from social and public life. I was alone, my residence was situated in a most remote place where only adults had "perched" over the area. Hence, my interaction has deteriorated.

Anyhow, its been 6 months since I have been going to the college and still i am under total pressure. I am doing well in studies, which has been proved with my test marks and performance, as claimed by my corresponding lecturers. But unfortunately, all day during break times and gaps between two classes i and my classmates are free. I remain silent and listen to their discussions. Moreover, I am not a nerd...as I am good in studying but not a freak to be swimming in books every time. The topics my friends like to discuss is out of my interest. Most are gossips and glamor concerning Hollywood and bollywood. Well I tried to resemble in this but i don't have any special channels or magazine(nor does my mom allow coz i'll be grounded). Hence, this chapter remains closed. So here no question arises. Ok now comes the part of my speaking problem. which is the actual part that I am concerned with.

When I talk, say "I'm fine". These words will be well imprinted in my mind but when i speak up it'll emerge out as, "I'm file"...which sounds kinda wierd and a maniac. I tried at home speaking loudly with my relatives but here every word is being said, 'like smooth flow of river'. Yes my speaking at home is fluent but as soon as i get outside i slur alot. I asked this to one person whose reply was that i was lacking confidence. So next time with full energy while at the same moment remaining calm i told a joke and an innovative idea. No laugh or amusement! They...mind me...made crossed faces.
yes slurring did occur that time. And during my talk i repeated my sentences twice.

What's happening with me?
How can i overcome it, if im still lacking confidence?
 

Nibz

XPRS Moderator
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Lacking self-esteem eh?
Well, this isn't your fault. Self-confidence and self-esteem both are GREATLY affected by the surrounding atmosphere and the daily experiences!
You see, if you feel down when others pass comments on you; do not like the way you talk or perhaps the way u socialize. JUST get rid of these things. They are ruining your confidence. When you allow others to shape your self-esteem, you actually destroy it. CONFUSED?
Others' attitude towards you is none of your bussiness!!!
PERFECTION is never achievable.. everyone has faults. Just try to find your talents and your confidence will kiss the sky :D

Seee.. there will be times when you will feel discouraged ( like you felt when you cracked that STUPID joke), you just dont allow these stupid emotions to determine your view of yourself.
Best Of luck and show the world who u really are!!!
 
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Well, first of all take out this thing from your mind that you are not confident and that you can not talk in a big group. Though it is true, but still, take this thing out of your mind. Think, you can.
I'll tell you how to start... Try speaking in small groups... Like between 2-3 people. You'll feel comfortable. And to get more mixed with them, text them, talk to them on facebook etc. Then gradually start speaking in front of 6-7 people and so on... If you are not good at cracking jokes and stuff, then just leave it. Talk about things at which you are good at. Like if you are good at studies, help a person understanding some topic which he/she couldn't.
If you are not interested in movies and stuff then please DON'T change this thing because gossiping all day about these things is seriously nothing but waste of time. Trust yourself okay?
Try bringing some healthy topics. Any debate type topic in which you think they might be interested.
And yes, be polite with even those who are rude to you.
(Be polite, but firm)
 
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I agreed with you because there is no one big or small in their status, all build their own personality by their goodness & hard working !
 
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hy guyz, i ahve the same problem. i dunt know what but i cannot think of anything to say to when i am sitting with my friends! they all talk non-stop n i am like -----------. n they get mad at me. i donot knnow what to do. same problem. no soltion. n it isnt like i lack confidence. but.............
help???
 
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^^^ its not a big deal... stay reserved for sum tym. ur *frnds* will remain ur frnds no matter u talk lyk them or not. even i ws a reallyyyyy quiet person some years back. no one at my new skool thought i cud even speak (except sum), n only recently i startd talking... after three whole years! it took me a lonngggg tym becoming friendly n social but finally i m. jxt wait fer ur tym, u wont even need to do anythng. :)
 
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^^^ its not a big deal... stay reserved for sum tym.

reserved??? that is what i am. n they think i am being a bore. i have been with them for last 11 years. since kindergarten. bt my best frnd left some weeks ago. n i feel lonely. but i never meant to put THEM through agony just because i am sad. n lately, many ppl are pointing out that i am acting weird since my best frnd left the scchool. m not doing it purposefully. i just dunt feel like talking to someone. but no1 just gets it! its like i am speaking in sum other frequency then them. everythng is so mingled up suddenly.
 
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for previous years, u had a best frnd. without her.. its been only weeks.
 
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yea... but friends think that i need to adjust.
i know what u r kninking ryt now. i have heard tht alot of times. u thinking 'what a freak she is. jes getting down on one person' hainna? but u knw what. even i have accepted this mental error in me now :D
funny life. eh?
 
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yea rryt, awesum aint it? consider urself retarded...-_- baqi kam hn buraayian krne k lie? best frnd means one person, so nthng's there abt bieng a freak.
 
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i dunt consider myself one. i heard sum1 saying that. :)
nt retared actually. just temporary fault. i ll heal it.
 
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