~~jokes?? in here?? really??

[falcon678]

 

[Shepard97]

ROFL!!
still remember Pikachu!
Piiiiiiiiiiikaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaachuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu >.<

 

[Shepard97]

Harry Potter : We can still defeat Voldemort.. we have something he doesn't
Ron : Yeah?
Harry : NOSES!

LOL

 

[somya]

 

[somya]

Teacher to class: “Behind every successful man there is a woman.”

What do we learn from it?

Student: ” We should stop wasting time in studies and find that woman

 

[somya]

 

[Darkest Angel]

 

[Darkest Angel]

 

[Shepard97]

LOL!!
your quote .. reminds me of Kurt Cobain's quote .

 

[Darkest Angel]

guys frm my school!

 

[Darkest Angel]

 

[somya]

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years ago?”, the homeless woman replied.
“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” the woman asked “No, I don’t waste time shopping?”, the homeless woman said.
“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this at a beauty salon instead of food?” the woman asked. “Are you NUTS?” replied the homeless woman. “I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!”
“Well,” said the woman, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.
The homeless woman was astounded. “Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”
The woman replied, “That’s Okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine.”

 

[somya]

He didn’t like the curry
And he didn’t like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard…
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn’t prepare the coffee right
He didn’t like the stew,
I didn’t mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Isn’t there anything I could do
To match his mothers shoe


Then I smiled as I saw light
One thing I could definitely do
I turned around and slapped him tight…
Like his mother used to do….!!!!!

 

[somya]

Sometime after independence three great leaders of the country -
Mahatma Gandhi, Lal Bahadur Shastri and Jawaharlal Nehru went to heaven.

God asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many children he had during his time
on earth. He replied saying he had three! Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God gave Shastri a Mercedes!
Jawaharlal is next and on replying that he had 15 children, God is pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti.
Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot. They ask why God hadn’t given him anything. Gandhiji replied with anger, “Some idiot told God that I was the father of the nation!“

 

[somya]

interview of a sardar...

Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of good.
Sardar : Bad.
Interviewer : Come.
Sardar : Go.
Interviewer : Ugly.
Sardar : Pichlli.
Interviewer : U G L Y?
Sardar : PICHLLY !!!!!!!
Interviewer : Shut Up.
Sardar : Keep Talking.
Interviewer : Get Out.
Sardar : Come In.
Interviewer : Oh my God.
Sardar : Oh my Devil.
Interviewer : U r Rejected.
Sardar : I am Selected. BALLE BALLLE!!

 

[SherlockHolmes221B]

 

[somya]

It is no fault of the student because a year has only 365 days.
Days in a year = 365 days
Sundays = 52 days (Sundays are meant for rest)
Days left = 313 days
Summer Vacations = 60 days (Weather is very hot, so it is difficult to study)
Days left = 253 days
Eight hours of daily sleep = 122 days (Necessary)
Days left = 131 days
One hour daily for play = 15 days (It’s good for health)
Days left = 116 days
Two hours for daily food = 30 days (Chew the food properly, don’t care for time)
Days left = 86 days
Examination days in a year = 30 days (Giving exams is necessary)
Days left = 56 days
Winter vacations = 25 days (Weather is cold, it’s difficult to study)
Days left = 31 days
Other holidays = 20 days (These holidays are to enjoy)
Days left = 11 days
Illness at least once a year = 8 days (Because of illness, study is difficult)
Days left = 3 days
Result days = 3 days (Going and taking result is necessary)
Days left = 0 days
So tell me when is there time to study?!

 

[somya]

A blonde is on a small two seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio.
“Mayday, mayday! My pilot just died!”
Ground control receive her call for help and answers back:
“Don’t worry, madam. I’ll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position”
“I’m 5″2′ and sitting in the front”

 

[somya]

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde woman wave at him and say hello.
He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?”
To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “My God, are you the dancer from my bachelor party, oh my god, I know I was drunk that night, but you got pregnant too!!Please don’t tell my wife, she’ll kill me!
She looks into his eyes and calmly says, “No, actually I’m your son’s math teacher.”

 

[somya]

The doctor told a dumb blonde that if she ran 8 km. a day for 300 days, she would lose 34 kgs.
At the end of 300 days, the blonde called the doctor to report she had lost the weight, but she had a problem.
“What’s the problem?” asked the doctor.
“I’m 2400 km. from home.”