~~jokes?? in here?? really??

[Abdullah Yousuf]

IMAGINE
A DREAM COME TRUE

 

[Abdullah Yousuf]

 

[gary221]

I found this real funny...
Shahbaaz : Sala kal raat 3 ghanta eng movie dekhi..... na kuch scenes dekhe na awaz suni..
Fariq : Movie ka naam kya tha?
Shahbaaz : NO DISC INSERTED...!!!!

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Teacher : You idiots, at ur age Einstein ranked first in class. What about u?​

Student : Sir, at ur age Hitler committed suicide. What about u??? ....​

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Joe was feeling sleepy.... his head was going down.​

Physics professor : What is this?​

Joe : Gravitational force, sir...!!!!​

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[memyself15]

Movie dialogues in chemistry:
- my name is bond,covalent bond.
- rishtey mein to hum tumhare allotrope lagte hai, naam hai diamond!
- P-block se dur nahi lagta sahab, D-block se lagta hai!
- ek bar jo mene bond tora, toh mein activation energy ki bhi nahi sunta!
- resonance ko neglect kerna mushkil hi nahi, na mumkin hai!
- ek hydrogen ki kimat tum kiya jano oxygen babu!
- ye electron mujhe de do carbon...!

 

[awsumness]

IMAGINE
A DREAM COME TRUE

OMG...if it happens it will surly b a DREAM COME TRUE...XD

 

[GetSomeLife]

OMG...if it happens it will surly b a DREAM COME TRUE...XD

EXACTLY!!!

 

[..sacrifice4Revenge..]

EXACTLY!!!

+1

 

[memyself15]

7 promises should be taken before choosing medical profession:

- i have already enjoyed my life in childhood.
2- i love tensions.
3- i love to work on sundays and holidays.
4- i want to take revenge from myself.
5- i don't want to marry before 35.
6- i want to study till my death.
7-i don't want hair on my head.

 

[alphabravocharlie]

7 promises should be taken before choosing medical profession:

- i have already enjoyed my life in childhood.
2- i love tensions.
3- i love to work on sundays and holidays.
4- i want to take revenge from myself.
5- i don't want to marry before 35.
6- i want to study till my death.
7-i don't want hair on my head.

 

[memyself15]

1 murghi ko kaway se pyar ho gaya, jab murghay ko pta chala tou wo murghi ke pass gaya. or bola ke mujhe me kya kami hai? smart hon, kawway se zyada khubsurat hon, tumhari bradari ka hon, murghiyon ka union leader hon.
Murghi: me tumhare jazbaat ki qadr kerti hon,lakin amma abba ki khwahish hai ke larka air force mein ho.

 

[gary221]

Dad : Dekh, dekh, us ladki ko dekh, wo tumhare saath padhti hai, 1st ayi hai....
Son : Dekh, dekh, kya dekh??
Usi ko dekh-dekh ke to main fail hua hoon...!!!

Galileo used lamp to study...
Graham Bell used a candle to study...
Einstein studied by the street light...
MORAL : Sab apne jaise hi the.... Din me time pass karte aur raat me nautanki...

 

[Nibz]

Ignore the grammatical errors.
I just found it funny. Not that I'm like this

 

[gary221]

Long, long ago... those ppl who sacrificed thr money, time, sleep, family, food were called saints.....
Now they r called SCIENCE STUDENTS....!!!


Sir : Have u ever seen a stupid, idiot, fool???
Student looking down...
Sir : Dont look down...look at me...!!!

Best sentences by teachers.... ​

All of u stand in a STRAIGHT circle...​

BOTH of u THREE, cum with me...​

Quiet... the principal just passed AWAY...​

And d best 1...... Why r u looking at the monkey outside the window when i m standing ​

here???? ....!!!!​

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Why do students sleep for long hours????​

Fantastic ans said by student....​

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Our dreams r always BIG...!!!....​

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[SalmanPakRocks]

 

[paradoX error]

.

 

[haochen]

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

 

[nisexyninja]

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday !!!

I don't get the bottom part. (Bob has been missing since Friday) :S

 

[MKh@lid]

 

[MKh@lid]

 

[haochen]

here are more

1) Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

2) Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."