~~jokes?? in here?? really??

[M Rizwan Kabir]

 

[M Rizwan Kabir]

 

[M Rizwan Kabir]

 

[Zainu Zaini]

View attachment 18617

nyc one...

 

[M Rizwan Kabir]

 

[M Rizwan Kabir]

 

[M Rizwan Kabir]

 

[somya]

One couple is discussing about their past, present and future.
The husband asks his wife: “If I die, with whom you will stay?”
Wife replied with sad mood: “With my sister”.
Then Wife also asked to Husband: “With whom you will stay if I died?”
Husband replied: “I will stay with your sister too.”

 

[somya]

A tourist from United States comes to visit India and he sees a sardar. He asked a question to him:
Tourist: Any great men born in this village?
Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!!

 

[somya]

Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour.
One day she hung up after 25 minutes….
“What is the matter today? asked her husband. “Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone.”
“I got a wrong number,” replied Mrs. Banta Singh.

 

[somya]

this one's epic...!
Santa and Banta are two friends and Santa Singh has a very good job.
Banta Singh is jobless and one day asks Santa to help him get some good Job.
Santa singh says, “OK, next time we will apply together.” and they do.
On interview day, Santa singh says, “First I will go inside and answer all questions except the last one, and after coming out, I will give you all the answers and questions. Then you go in and answer everything and You will get the Job.”

So, Santa goes in.
EMPLOYER: When did we get independence?
SANTA: Efforts started in 1857, but we got freedom in 1947.
EMPLOYER: Good. Who is our PM?
SANTA: It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari Vajpayee.
EMPLOYER: OK. What’s India’s population?
SANTA: (He was not to reply the last one so he says) Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell
you, Sir.

Now he comes out and tells the questions and answers to Banta Singh.
Banta Singh (True SARDAR that he is) remembers all answers and forgets the questions. He goes in now.
EMPLOYER: When were you born?
BANTA: Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947.
EMPLOYER: What? Who is your father?
BANTA: It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari Vajpayee.
EMPLOYER (Now quite upset): Are you mad Mr. Banta?
BANTA: Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell you Sir.

 

[somya]

Wife: ‘You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?’
Hubby: ‘When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.’
Wife: ‘You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?’
Hubby: ‘Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?’

 

[somya]

Santa is a evening bird lover. One day he stood in his backyard and heard an owl hoot. So he thought he’d give a hoot back. To his surprise and delight the bird hooted again.
The next night the same scenario occurred. All summer, Santa and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the “conversations.”
Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication.
His wife, Jeeto, had a chat with Preeto (Mrs Banta), her next door neighbour.
“My husband spends his nights calling to owls,” she said. “That`s odd,” the neighbour replied. “So does my husband.”

 

[somya]

A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labour pain to the father.
He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% paintransfer.
The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband’s blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.
The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch.

 

[Experienced One]

Experienced One
*add maths test*
View attachment 18605

and the worst moment wen ur friend is also gving u the same "IM STUCK" looks xD

 

[somya]

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were under training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”
The policeman says, “Well… uh… that’s because the picture shows his profile.”
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 secondsat the second blonde and asks her, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”
The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are shown in the picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” He quickly adds “… think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”
The third blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “Hmmmm… the suspect wears contact lenses.”
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
“Well, that’s an interesting answer… wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.”
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
“Wow! I can’t believe it… it’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”
“That’s easy,” the blonde replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.”

 

[badrobot14]

Experienced One
*add maths test*
View attachment 18605

more like controls engineering test for us.. add maths is soo easy.... all u have to do is study the book.. but with controls our teacher used so many books we didn't even know what book to consult for what topic... not to mention the teacher was hard to get..

P.S. it's not good to cheat.. honesty is best...

 

[7th heaven ;)]

and the worst moment wen ur friend is also gving u the same "IM STUCK" looks xD

 

[somya]

One employee told his boss, “Sir, Increase my salary, I got married recently.”
The boss replied, “The Company cannot compensate for the accidents happened outside of the company.”

 

[M Rizwan Kabir]