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Rantings Of A Beautiful Mind

Sugar_Hugs

Sugar_Hugs

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Life continues.

You may be broken, insulted, rejected, alone or anything, life continues.
It does not wait for you to catch hold on to it.
You have to run, drag or crawl yourself.

It does not wait. It does not stop. It is unfair. It is ugly.
You think you know somebody and they are just ready to take vengeance on you
Its just how things go , Its how the cycle goes
One day the guilt consumes to the point its too late
and when we look back at our hands
we wonder
what now ?
what now?






.What now?
 
Alishay

Alishay

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When I was in my early teens I had a mad crush on a boy.
The subject of my love (the boy) changed pretty regularly.
What remained constant was the mad crush.
I felt like I would do anything to make him happy. I loved every little thing about him, even his quirks. I wanted to give him everything.
Until I lost interest, met another boy and began again.
The thrill and devastation of the mad crush roller coaster.
One day, in that vast, cold, gray, dry, empty expanse between one crush and another, I wondered if I had ever felt that mad love for myself.
Would I do anything to make me happy? Could I love every little thing about me, even my quirks? Would I give me anything?
I decided it was time to set aside the boy crushes and instead nurture a new kind of love. It seemed like a better investment of my time and energy to love someone I would always have by me, who would never neither bore me nor leave me.


Thus began a shift in my perspective.
I wasn’t dieting because a boy wanted me to be thinner. I was eating better because I wanted to be healthy. I was taking care of myself.
If someone wasn’t sure how they felt for me or wanted me to be someone I wasn't, rather than wanting to cling and desperately figure out how I could make them love me, I instead felt I deserved better.
I stopped being interested in those who weren’t interested in me.

Instead of wondering how on Earth I could be good enough to deserve someone’s unconditional love I became pickier about who I loved. This selectiveness did not come from a place of arrogance but from a place of self esteem.
I became more comfortable with uncertainly because I trusted I could probably figure out how to deal with whatever happened next.

I began to believe in myself, because that's what you do when you love someone.
I have learned the importance of spending time alone because I need to reduce background noise so I can listen to myself. How am I feeling? What do I need? What is it that I’m trying to tell me?

I recognize where I need help and give myself the space and the tools to bolster those areas without judgement and without being hard on myself. For example, I have a tendency towards anxiety, so I search for things that calm me (I try to go to yoga several times a week and pay attention to how I’m breathing.)

I try to be what I am looking for. I want to be loved with a love that is true and deep and stable. I want someone who will always want what is best for me. I want someone I can count on.
That’s what I work on becoming for myself.

So that once i know i have loved myself
I can look back at the boy and say I love you too
 
Midnight dream

Midnight dream

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Alishay said:
When I was in my early teens I had a mad crush on a boy.
The subject of my love (the boy) changed pretty regularly.
What remained constant was the mad crush.
I felt like I would do anything to make him happy. I loved every little thing about him, even his quirks. I wanted to give him everything.
Until I lost interest, met another boy and began again.
The thrill and devastation of the mad crush roller coaster.
One day, in that vast, cold, gray, dry, empty expanse between one crush and another, I wondered if I had ever felt that mad love for myself.
Would I do anything to make me happy? Could I love every little thing about me, even my quirks? Would I give me anything?
I decided it was time to set aside the boy crushes and instead nurture a new kind of love. It seemed like a better investment of my time and energy to love someone I would always have by me, who would never neither bore me nor leave me.


Thus began a shift in my perspective.
I wasn’t dieting because a boy wanted me to be thinner. I was eating better because I wanted to be healthy. I was taking care of myself.
If someone wasn’t sure how they felt for me or wanted me to be someone I wasn't, rather than wanting to cling and desperately figure out how I could make them love me, I instead felt I deserved better.
I stopped being interested in those who weren’t interested in me.

Instead of wondering how on Earth I could be good enough to deserve someone’s unconditional love I became pickier about who I loved. This selectiveness did not come from a place of arrogance but from a place of self esteem.
I became more comfortable with uncertainly because I trusted I could probably figure out how to deal with whatever happened next.

I began to believe in myself, because that's what you do when you love someone.
I have learned the importance of spending time alone because I need to reduce background noise so I can listen to myself. How am I feeling? What do I need? What is it that I’m trying to tell me?

I recognize where I need help and give myself the space and the tools to bolster those areas without judgement and without being hard on myself. For example, I have a tendency towards anxiety, so I search for things that calm me (I try to go to yoga several times a week and pay attention to how I’m breathing.)

I try to be what I am looking for. I want to be loved with a love that is true and deep and stable. I want someone who will always want what is best for me. I want someone I can count on.
That’s what I work on becoming for myself.

So that once i know i have loved myself
I can look back at the boy and say I love you too
Click to expand...
Did you write all that yourself?
Every single line carries such weight that *speechless*

And as for changing is concerned then I agree.You don't need to change.Some one out there loves you for you.For the little mistakes you make.For the flaws in you.Just because you are YOU.
So for me love is more deeper than just saying I love you in all senses! Its more like loving someone with all their good and bad!

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away

I want to be loved with a love that is true and deep and stable <-- I loved these line a lot.^-^ Stability is what most people lack.

 
M

My Name

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Midnight dream said:
They do change ofcourse.
But at times you just dont know what they really are.
I once made this statemen up.

This world is like a masquerade ball.Where everyone has a mask on them.Whoever reveals their true mask before they achieve their task.Loses
Click to expand...
Yes.
True.

Creepy,isn't it?
I also had a statement in mind..

What if all those pretty masks were dark an hollow?
 
Midnight dream

Midnight dream

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My Name said:
Yes.
True.

Creepy,isn't it?
I also had a statement in mind..

What if all those pretty masks were dark an hollow?
Click to expand...
If the change is for better than sure why not?
But lol in people xD
Matlabi loog te matlabi duniya <--This is a statemnet a person ehre often told me ^_^

Much much..Seriously.Be who you are .:/

Lol Yaar they are.Hollow empty ..and much muhc yuck .xD
 
M

My Name

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Midnight dream said:
If the change is for better than sure why not?
But lol in people xD
Matlabi loog te matlabi duniya <--This is a statemnet a person ehre often told me ^_^

Much much..Seriously.Be who you are .:/

Lol Yaar they are.Hollow empty ..and much muhc yuck .xD
Click to expand...
: )
So te is like ki in Urdu? :p

No : o why?
Yeah..haa
 
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