Short Story Competition

[Rutzaba]

cux itsa threadcreated by me... u create ur own and do wat u like wth it...
this comp is currently closed... too much work

 

[SOTZAIDI]

hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Too mcuh work. yes...

 

[Rutzaba]

hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Too mcuh work. yes...

dun wanna undastand? aint ma prob... i not famous for my politeness i assure u... dmagh kharab nhi karo

 

[Rutzaba]

Ok heres the new topic...
4 friends go camping and something goes wrong there...
ur story shud be descriptive... ( a challenge Muhammad TAimoor )
shud consist of atleast three paras
describe how they plan it... what happens there ... and what are the after effects of the trip...
make ur story instresting and worth reading

note that u will disqualify if ur stories get either vulgar or too violent...
ur story will be reported to the admin....

regards Rutzaba

 

[SOTZAIDI]

Ok something goes wrong....hmmmmm.... Who were the friends again And yeah challenge to taimoor if he is in any state to write these days

 

[Rutzaba]

chAllenge indeed... university friends wud b cool

 

[arlery]

Ok heres the new topic...
4 friends go camping and something goes wrong there...
ur story shud be descriptive... ( a challenge Muhammad TAimoor )
shud consist of atleast three paras
describe how they plan it... what happens there ... and what are the after effects of the trip...
make ur story instresting and worth reading

note that u will disqualify if ur stories get either vulgar or too violent...
ur story will be reported to the admin....

regards Rutzaba

First person or third person POV?

 

[Rutzaba]

First person or third person POV?

any

 

[arlery]

any

Alrightie!

 

[arlery]

"We should NOT have gone out for this camping trip Jude." said Alex as she tried getting their location on the G.P.S. for what was probably the millionth time. It had been two hours since they had lost their way and for some reason the G.P.S. just would not work. So after going on in a what seemed like a labyrinth of roads and trees, they had finally come to a stop in order to avoid wasting fuel.
"Just look at the damn map for God's sake. We've tried the G.P.S. so many times; if it was going to work, it would have the first time we tried it." replied Judith, annoyed at the heat and Alex's mindless banter.
"Okay so we have enough fuel to probably go on for a few miles, let's just save that up and make this our stop." said Lesandra good-humoredly.
"Yeah, Les is right, what better way to start our epic camping trip than to explore unmarked territory as we discover new species and aliens on our way." Mike replied, adding on to his twin sister's suggestion. He gestured mysterious hand motions like a gypsie making everyone else crack up.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay umm Rutzaba is it okay if I write in parts? My writing capabilities take a break after every paragraph
If not it's fine I'll just delete this post.

 

[Rutzaba]

u cn

"We should NOT have gone out for this camping trip Jude." said Alex as she tried getting their location on the G.P.S. for what was probably the millionth time. It had been two hours since they had lost their way and for some reason the G.P.S. just would not work. So after going on in a what seemed like a labyrinth of roads and trees, they had finally come to a stop in order to avoid wasting fuel.
"Just look at the damn map for God's sake. We've tried the G.P.S. so many times; if it was going to work, it would have the first time we tried it." replied Judith, annoyed at the heat and Alex's mindless banter.
"Okay so we have enough fuel to probably go on for a few miles, let's just save that up and make this our stop." said Lesandra good-humoredly.
"Yeah, Les is right, what better way to start our epic camping trip than to explore unmarked territory as we discover new species and aliens on our way." Mike replied, adding on to his twin sister's suggestion. He gestured mysterious hand motions like a gypsie making everyone else crack up.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay umm Rutzaba is it okay if I write in parts? My writing capabilities take a break after every paragraph
If not it's fine I'll just delete this post.

write any way u like

 

[Rutzaba]

http://rutzshortstories.blogspot.com/2013/04/still-bored-part-one.html

 

[usama321]

A certain rich businessperson had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a guy who was a cleaner. When the girl's father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it.
Now, the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future.
The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them. At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home thru a local newspaper. Her father said, "If you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each other truly."
Therefore, in this way, their love won and they returned home.
The couple next day went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in a white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, suddenly from the next corner, a lorry came at a fantastic speed and hit him. He died on the spot.
The girl was devastated and lost her senses. It was only after sometime that
she recovered from her shock. The funeral and cremation was the next day because he had died horribly.
Father felt very sad for his daughter. He told his daughter, "See, This is all divine will. I know I should not be talking to you so soon. However, I cannot bear the pathetic sight of you like this for the rest of my life. I beg you; please try to come out of this sorrow. I want you to marry again and live happily forever. My partner's son is willing to marry you." The girl, who was already so sad, now felt sorry for her father also.
Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the bloodstains of the guy from her daughter's dress as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream.
The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it. Then the
girl had the same dream the next night; she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes with the bloodstains immediately.
She washed the stains but some remained. Next night she again had the same dream. She again washed the stains but some remained. But again, the next night she had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the bloodstain, or else something terrible would happen.
This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains remained. She was very tired.
In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone knocked on the door. When she opened the door, she saw the same old lady of her dream standing at her door. Her face was pale. She seemed to be half asleep or in a trance. The girl got very scared and fainted. And slowly she slipped, and slipped down to a bottomless pit. She lost any idea of time.
The old lady woke her up. She gave her a blue object, which shocked the girl.
She asked the old lady, "What is this...?"
The old lady started singing in unbelievably melodious semi divine voice.
*
*
*
"Washing powder Nirma, Washing powder Nirma
Doodh si safedi Nirma se aaye,
Rangeen kapde bhi khil khil jaye,
Washing powder Nirma, Washing powder Nirma. Nirma"
10 ka 1, do pe. ek free
The girl bought two and got one free!
If you got irritated on seeing this, share it with your friends to tease them!

SERIOUSLY?

 

[Rutzaba]

SERIOUSLY?

i dint write this

 

[Muhammad TAimoor]

His grasp was loosening, his eyes were wet but he couldn't wipe the tears. His hand felt too heavy to do that. He could hear his heart beat, but the intensity was fading. He wasn't old yet, it was just that the time was closing in on him. Maybe it was over, or was it the real satisfaction? The moment he longed for? His mind answered nothing, it was getting numb as well. There's no time, there's no time. You are losing it, its all over. Thoughts mocked his weak determination, but it is never over till its over. A light glowed somewhere, the vagueness in the vision turned to crystal clear clarity. His heart sprang to life, the cold rush of blood now supported his willingness. He could still do it. Maybe a last go. With all he had got, he entered the last two commands. Boom! His numb mind felt a shockwave somewhere. Calculator showed 12. The equation was proved.

 

[usama321]

Well putting everything into the fantasy genre is my bad habit....pls tell me you people don't mind it :O


The fire crackled outside the encampment, and its fiery arms whipped the air mercilessly. Edios gazed into the inferno, gazed at the dry branches as they cracked and split in the scorching embraces of the fire. Just like her bones, he thought silently, lost in the same bottomless void of thoughts that had agonized him since her death.

The sun had hidden itself behind the mountains, and the shadows had lengthened, eventually blending with the darkness of the night. Their hunt had proved fruitless,and most probably, someone else had already claimed the bounty on the beast's head.

"We need to get going. I don't want to become a cooked steak, do i," said Andal with a nervous laugh, trying to break the ice with his lame jokes. His small frame stopped heaving abruptly though, under the furious stare of his elder brother, Alfor.


"I am not going back, not this time," Edios heard himself saying abruptly. He heard the sharp intake of breath of Melkor, and the temperature around the camp seemed to fall. A cold wind blew from the north, and chilled their very bones.

"You can't go there alone Edios, you just can't. It's suicide," he heard Melkor saying, and could not believe that for the first time, even his best friend was opposing him. Alfor had always opposed his suggestions, but he could not believe he was being opposed by the one who had always stood by him. He, who knew what had happened to her, how she had died, writhing in agony, claimed by the very thing she had worshiped.

"You can go back, all three of you. I don't care, nor do I blame you of cowardice. But don't stop me." They could sense the contempt in his voice, and the poison coated words pierced their hearts. His words seemed to have hit the mark.

"I'll accompany you then. Let the gods bear witness i did not turn my back on you," said Melkor somberly, as he took out his sword from its humble worn down scabbard, and started whetting it. A shadow seemed to move across the camp as he uttered these words, and a strange dread filled Edios' heart. I should not have dragged him into this. Andal uttered a fearful squeak at Melkor's words, which was again greeted with a scornful gaze by his brother.

The weather seemed to change suddenly. A strong wind started blowing from the north, and brought with it the promise of a storm. Clouds thundered in the distance, announcing their forthcoming arrogantly. The wind brought with the faint smell of wet soil. The night slowly darkened, as the clouds veiled the moon.


P.S i am really sorry, but i just could not follow the topic completely . Some people might notice that i have borrowed a couple of names from a famous novel :O. If you like it, do tell me and i'll try my best and continue it

 

[Rutzaba]

His grasp was loosening, his eyes were wet but he couldn't wipe the tears. His hand felt too heavy to do that. He could hear his heart beat, but the intensity was fading. He wasn't old yet, it was just that the time was closing in on him. Maybe it was over, or was it the real satisfaction? The moment he longed for? His mind answered nothing, it was getting numb as well. There's no time, there's no time. You are losing it, its all over. Thoughts mocked his weak determination, but it is never over till its over. A light glowed somewhere, the vagueness in the vision turned to crystal clear clarity. His heart sprang to life, the cold rush of blood now supported his willingness. He could still do it. Maybe a last go. With all he had got, he entered the last two commands. Boom! His numb mind felt a shockwave somewhere. Calculator showed 12. The equation was proved.

pure you

but

Ok heres the new topic...
4 friends go camping and something goes wrong there...
ur story shud be descriptive... ( a challenge Muhammad TAimoor )
shud consist of atleast three paras
describe how they plan it... what happens there ... and what are the after effects of the trip...
make ur story instresting and worth reading

note that u will disqualify if ur stories get either vulgar or too violent...
ur story will be reported to the admin....

regards Rutzaba

 

[Rutzaba]

Well putting everything into the fantasy genre is my bad habit....pls tell me you people don't mind it :O


The fire crackled outside the encampment, and its fiery arms whipped the air mercilessly. Edios gazed into the inferno, gazed at the dry branches as they cracked and split in the scorching embraces of the fire. Just like her bones, he thought silently, lost in the same bottomless void of thoughts that had agonized him since her death.

The sun had hidden itself behind the mountains, and the shadows had lengthened, eventually blending with the darkness of the night. Their hunt had proved fruitless,and most probably, someone else had already claimed the bounty on the beast's head.

"We need to get going. I don't want to become a cooked steak, do i," said Andal with a nervous laugh, trying to break the ice with his lame jokes. His small frame stopped heaving abruptly though, under the furious stare of his elder brother, Alfor.


"I am not going back, not this time," Edios heard himself saying abruptly. He heard the sharp intake of breath of Melkor, and the temperature around the camp seemed to fall. A cold wind blew from the north, and chilled their very bones.

"You can't go there alone Edios, you just can't. It's suicide," he heard Melkor saying, and could not believe that for the first time, even his best friend was opposing him. Alfor had always opposed his suggestions, but he could not believe he was being opposed by the one who had always stood by him. He, who knew what had happened to her, how she had died, writhing in agony, claimed by the very thing she had worshiped.

"You can go back, all three of you. I don't care, nor do I blame you of cowardice. But don't stop me." They could sense the contempt in his voice, and the poison coated words pierced their hearts. His words seemed to have hit the mark.

"I'll accompany you then. Let the gods bear witness i did not turn my back on you," said Melkor somberly, as he took out his sword from its humble worn down scabbard, and started whetting it. A shadow seemed to move across the camp as he uttered these words, and a strange dread filled Edios' heart. I should not have dragged him into this. Andal uttered a fearful squeak at Melkor's words, which was again greeted with a scornful gaze by his brother.

The weather seemed to change suddenly. A strong wind started blowing from the north, and brought with it the promise of a storm. Clouds thundered in the distance, announcing their forthcoming arrogantly. The wind brought with the faint smell of wet soil. The night slowly darkened, as the clouds veiled the moon.


P.S i am really sorry, but i just could not follow the topic completely . Some people might notice that i have borrowed a couple of names from a famous novel :O. If you like it, do tell me and i'll try my best and continue it

i dunno how straight you want me to be?
and then only can i comment... do want me to tell you the gud and the bad things?

 

[usama321]

i dunno how straight you want me to be?
and then only can i comment... do want me to tell you the gud and the bad things?

both

 

[Rutzaba]

ok your writing is vry very organised... im a bit of a critic so my saying that your writing is organized means sumthing though your topic... it is not out of rules this is a very casual thread... but maybe its me..... couldnt keep my attention for more than haalf the story. all in all you have great potential... but your stories need to be more interesting