Study and sleep in a really noisy house (psychopathic dad does this to irritate)

[PrincessLuna]

I have a lot of noise due to bad conditions at home and can't study easily.

 

[badrobot14]

My dad is a psychopathic jerk who abuses my Mum and I a lot. I have no happy memories in this house and have seen it all from violence to manipulation since I was a little girl.

He purposely makes a lot of moaning noises, swears a lot about other people including me, talks to himself, makes loud (fake) phone calls when he wants others to believe something, plays sad songs etd He spits on me etc whenever he sees me and does the same to my Mum.

The situation is quite complex and the only way to get out of this is excelling in my A Levels and getting a scholarship.

Please don't advice go to authorities etc as I live in a developing country where unless its murder police don't take you seriously. My Mum can't divorce at present as he is a great con and will take everything. He in fact tricked my Mum in marriage by giving wrong education information etc.

I really need to do well in my A levels next year, but its really hard to work and stressful and even scary especially when he starts muttering deep emotional stuff. I try to ignore everything he does but its hard.

So my question is how can I make this noise at night etc affect my studies as least as possible?

When I was answering O-Levels (We answer CIE O-levels stil here), the turmoil was really bad and I didn't get all A*'s like I wanted but got A*'s, A's and a B.

I'm sick of my life and have considered suicide a couple of times. The thought that I can get good results and get away from this mad man keeps me alive.

It's so sad to hear this... but be patient.... remember the troubles in life are temporary so be patient and don't think about suicide... soon it'll be over (God-willing)... never lose hope! Try reading this:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_help.htm

On your question, well be smart and try to read his patterens.. what triggers him to start annoying you, when is it that he is busy and what keeps him busy... Is ther something you can do to calm him like give him a drink or something.. try to study in times he is busy with other things... So try to adapt to ur environment... If there is a friend's place where you can study or even if in school you can stay after school to study a bit, do it...
and try to be strong and help your mom too, as much as you can to comfort her.... as they say, A diamond is only a piece of coal that did well under pressure...

P.S. I don't know about you, but I'm a muslim (Islam is my religion).... for me trust in God helps in tough times... I know God is just so on the day of judgment, justice will be served.. Our religious book, Quran, explains rationally about reality of life and why does opression even exist.. Anyway, if you are a believer in God, do pray and be optimistic. for me, the Quran holds counsel from God and profound lessons... Once you are free (after exams maybe) I'd advise you to look at it... could help.

 

[PrincessLuna]

It's so sad to hear this... but be patient.... remember the troubles in life are temporary so be patient and don't think about suicide... soon it'll be over (God-willing)... never lose hope! Try reading this:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_help.htm

On your question, well be smart and try to read his patterens.. what triggers him to start annoying you, when is it that he is busy and what keeps him busy... Is ther something you can do to calm him like give him a drink or something.. try to study in times he is busy with other things... So try to adapt to ur environment... If there is a friend's place where you can study or even if in school you can stay after school to study a bit, do it...
and try to be strong and help your mom too, as much as you can to comfort her.... as they say, A diamond is only a piece of coal that did well under pressure...

P.S. I don't know about you, but I'm a muslim (Islam is my religion).... for me trust in God helps in tough times... I know God is just so on the day of judgment, justice will be served.. Our religious book, Quran, explains rationally about reality of life and why does opression even exist.. Anyway, if you are a believer in God, do pray and be optimistic. for me, the Quran holds counsel from God and profound lessons... Once you are free (after exams maybe) I'd advise you to look at it... could help.

I'm not muslim but I am familiar with the concepts of the different religions. To be honest though I believe in ethics more than religion. That said there are plenty of important ethical concepts to be learnt from all religions. Its useless giving him drinks and all that, he would only use it to seek more attention. The reason he does this is probably because of a condition that causes him to not have any empathy (ability to consider from another person's point of view). I believe it is right to not treat others in ways that you would not like to be treated yourself. There are not "patterns", he has married my Mum with false education information, fooled us, taken all the family funds for himself and lots of other bad things. When we discovered this the turmoil in the house has been extreme. It has never been normal though and he always creates trouble. If you do X he says you should have done Y. If you do Y, he says you should have done X.

 

[Silent Hunter]

whats he interested in? like games,television etc? anything? you can provide opportunities or make him spend more time doing his hobbies..... which can leave you with time to study or sleep..... any close friends of his?
any friends of him with whom you can talk and the friends understand the situation and they try talking to ur father.......

 

[PrincessLuna]

whats he interested in? like games,television etc? anything? you can provide opportunities or make him spend more time doing his hobbies..... which can leave you with time to study or sleep..... any close friends of his?
any friends of him with whom you can talk and the friends understand the situation and they try talking to ur father.......

He has no real friends. He makes friends, cheats them, uses them and dumps them. His only hobby is conning people and going out with prostitutes. Research online about psychopathy and you will understand.

 

[étudiante]

Well reallllly sad to hear of this, but you know what, just remember that everything will come to pass.Nothing lasts forever, not even this world.

As for studies, if the noise irritates you, then just plug in head phones (noise-block types) and switch on something... try the sound of waves splashing or waterfalls. Not only will it help you to block out the noise, it is said that these sounds actually stimulate better learning in the brain.

Okay and this next things sounds stupid, REAL stupid, but try talking to yourself when you feel demotivated or upset or feel like you are blowing up. Tell yourself why you need to study, what you need to do. Talk to yourself as a friend.Out loud if you want. Trust me, it helps. And most importantly, DREAM. Imagine that nothing is wrong and just watch yourself how u'd like your life to be. The imagination itself will help you crete a Utopia in your head that helps escape from real life and will help you study. Just live in a virtual world. People may call you crazy, but atleast you're mentally at peace.

And for any kind of help, or if you just need someone to pour your thoughts out to, dont hesitate to message me

 

[YaZmin]

heya!luna i wont say dont be depressed becoz that wont help but all i can say is this is : life IS full of strive and pain,but happiness isnt that rare u just have to smile whenever u can, be strong becoz u have to, hold on and cling onto opportunities whenever they come, face 2morrow with a smile, live today with hope and faith in GOD,he is the only one who will help u in fact probably no 4 certainty what ur going through now is the test GOD has given u ,how to act ,what to do that's something only U can answer, ask 4 his help he will support u! what ur going through might actually be the turning point of ur life u never know what will happen but 4 sure 'after darkness the sun rises' and spreads its warmth in ur vein, feel every moment and take it as a lesson never give up and always keep holding on to ur dream ..becoz it will only continue to be one unless u make it real.use the time at skool or early in the morning do ur best for the sake of ur mom,ur success will be her happiness,the happiness that she longs 4, be strong and know that GOD has set 4 each one of us a different type of test but GOD knows taht u can pass that test he will never test u beyond ur limits even though u dont know them yet..but through what ur facing u will come to know how strong u can be!!think of it in this way!!
NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER give up!!!

 

[Aqsa Saleem]

is there a nearby library? or a park? or a roof at your house where you can escape him foe a while? divide your time of studying when he's not at home. Or asleep. You have to make your own ways out if you want to study.
Or, lock your room, plug in ear pieces in your ear with a very low instrumental music and try studying.

 

[DeepikaBeeharry]

hi.. i'm really sorry.. but can't u stay at a relative to study?? Explain the situation!! put on earplugs while studying! do the maximum work possible at school.. rest at home. lock yourself in your room..