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dosti mein no thank u no sorry
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ATTENTION PLEASE -- All Muslim Brothers and Sisters
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True , but tell me which country out there Prohibits interactions between the opposite genders except Saudia Arabia ? I'm an Arab living in the middle east and I know what I'm talking about here
so you're telling me that widowed/divorced Women who have no one(male) to support them shouldn't go out of the house cuz it's haram to talk to the opposite gender ?!
Not all men are good and same goes for Women but We should try as much as we can to avoid sins or things that lead us to sin.
I'll give you an example, All my life I was in a girl's school up until now, I'm in a co-education school cuz my previous school sucked it doesn't have grade 12 for goodness sake. when i first joined the school the boys thought I was weird for not talking to them at all. but then I needed a paper that a guy distrubuted to the class and forgot to give it to me so I had to TALK to him cuz there is NO other way right ? that didn't make him my boyfriend did it ?
we must not look at what the countries or the law states .. we must look at what "Our Law" states
the problem here is due to lack of knowledge .. if u look into the books of ahadeeth regarding this topic (and all other topics u can think of).. u will find explanation of all different circumstances that can arise and how they must be dealt with .. as u say divorced women who wants to earn for living ... Islam allows that if u have some financial problem even if u got a husband who cant earn enough then the women can go out for earning while observing proper hijab ..... and things can be clarified by this hadith that
The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) said:
“Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him not be alone with a woman who has no mahram present, for the third one present will be the Shaytaan.” (Ahmad — saheeh by al-Albaani)
and as i said asking for things necessary for the mode of life to continue ... only NECESSARY .... like i know many of my class-fellows who frequently talk to girls and give them things such as flash drives of movies and blah blah ..... so sis just download ahadeeth on ur cell phone or PC and whenever u arent sure about things just give it a go or if thats not possible then simply search at google
badrobot14
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If you have a qustn n u feel awkward to post in public, u can use msg.... if the recipient is able to reply they'd reply, inshaAllah....no i dnt wanna msg...i mean coz its nt appropriate ryt...dats y i posted in public...
Step zero to solving a problem is knowing that it is a problem... Alhamdulillah you have done it.. you know it's wrong to be just friends.. it's a good start!
knowledge helps a lot; do ....
1. Make Dua to Allah, might sound odd but for any problem sincere Dua is one of the best starts to solving it. He is the most merciful... who NEVER burdens us more than we can handle.. He told us “odAAoonee astajiblakum ("Call upon Me; I will respond to you." 40:60)”
2. Now comes the best advice ever possible on this issue and it’s the advice of Prophet (S.A.W),
It was narrated that Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to us: “O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, and whoever cannot do that, then let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4778; Muslim, 1400)
Allaah’s Messenger said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." (Bukhari: 5066).
So once or twice a week do fast as it helps build Taqwa; that is a person becomes cautious of Allah, knows He is watching and refrains from doing bad deeds, and of course you also get rewarded immensely by Allah for fasting (it’s a win-win).
3. Be regular in your Salah and make sure you know what you say, you mean what you say to Allah in the salah. “Recite, [O Muhammad], what has been revealed to you of the Book and establish prayer. Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows that which you do.” (29:45)
If our salah is not stopping us from immorality and shameful deeds/thoughts then there is something wrong with our salah! (listening to audio tafseer of Surah fatiha is a good start to know the salah)
4. Lower the Gaze, Most important… “Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do. And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their .......” (24:30-31)
scholars say women can only look at men if there is no temptation but in ur case you should try not looking at ur 'friends'.. (I know it's very hard but give it a try... you'll be happy inshaAllah.)
5. Spend more time with good friends that are regular in their salah, and have Hayaa(modesty)… who keep their distance from the opposite gender. (They’re Hard to find, but look for these kinds of friends!) THis is VERY important - ur environment affects you very much.
6. Wear modest Islamic clothing, using a headscarf is must for you... wearing loose, non-transparent, non-perfumed clothing also.. but if you do what scholars recommend you'd become an awesome guy-repellent: Use a face-veil! InshaAllah, no guy wd think of being 'just friends' with you and you urself will feel bad hanging around a guy as it's not befitting a modest muslim girl to be hanging with a guy...
At last, remember this very important saying “Whoever leaves something for Allah, Allah will replace it with something better!” (inshaAllah.) So inshaAllah, you will be rewarded immensely by Allah if you do all this for Him... but do consider this, if you hang around them, then what excuse would you give Allah when you are asked about it on the Day of Standing? He gives us so much and the way we try to repay Him is by not abiding by His commands.. how sad is that?
May Allah give all of us Hayaa and enter us in His jannah... Aameen.
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this has helped a lot...jazakallah...i'll try my best to follow it inshallah..
badrobot14
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may Allah help you succeed... and me too, Aameen.this has helped a lot...jazakallah...i'll try my best to follow it inshallah..
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ya ameen..
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What I'm talking about is not a girl being in a room with a boy (kalwa), what I'm saying is we have no other choice but to talk to the opposite gender since it's in some cases Necessary but in these necessary moments we need to be careful as well. That's what I've been trying to say
So we're on the same side. Anyways ,Sure I'll try to do that when I'm free inshAllah
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What I'm talking about is not a girl being in a room with a boy (kalwa), what I'm saying is we have no other choice but to talk to the opposite gender since it's in some cases Necessary but in these necessary moments we need to be careful as well. That's what I've been trying to say
So we're on the same side. Anyways ,Sure I'll try to do that when I'm free inshAllah
i can post some very useful softwares here if u can just tell me the OS on which u want that software except java
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I guess your a muslim. If your a muslim then you must follow the teachings of Islam. And if your right then please post a Quranic verse or an hadith to prove your point. I guess badrobot and XPF member have already posted many of the verses from Holy Quran. If your not a muslim then ignore
And further, this thread focuses on advice, and charity begains at home. One should try to correct himself before pointing out at an 'International community' created for education and learning. :]
P.S: No harsh feelings :]
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any software is fine with me ,i guess.
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"Charity begins at home" Mind it .. ! *If you know what i mean* you're a Muslim, and XPFModerator so can't you separate boys nd girls? And have blessings? because CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME.... if there is single Muslim Admin of XPF s/he should realize this na..!I guess your a muslim. If your a muslim then you must follow the teachings of Islam. And if your right then please post a Quranic verse or an hadith to prove your point. I guess badrobot and XPF member have already posted many of the verses from Holy Quran. If your not a muslim then ignore
And further, this thread focuses on advice, and charity begains at home. One should try to correct himself before pointing out at an 'International community' created for education and learning. :]
P.S: No harsh feelings :]
PS I'm Muslim..... And I just asked questions not mentioned any point...
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Ahan but you see it's the responsibility of muslims to take care of themselves rather blaming the community. Allahamdulliah Admins are muslim but like I said before, this community aims at education and nothing else. Rest is upto us. I would be answerable for my deeds in the grave and not the creator of this community because he created a forum in which I can talk to girls. *If you know what I mean*
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Exactly! Education! if you discuss there nothing wrong!!
And Yea.. Fake Accounts too! *You forgot to mention it*
And Yea.. Fake Accounts too! *You forgot to mention it*
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Haha! I nowhere mentioned that it's not allowed for education purpose.Exactly! Education! if you discuss there nothing wrong!!
And Yea.. Fake Accounts too! *You forgot to mention it*
Like a fe-male teacher teaching her students. Well you see, sometimes we know we are doing wrong and if we try to make it feel right then we wouldn't repent Allah S.W.T.
badrobot14
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reply, about interactions online:
If someone commits a sin, obviously they are responsible for it... Do read the Quran, it's enlighting.. you'd find people are judged for 'what their hands have sent forward.'
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ACTIONS ARE JUDGED BY INTENTIONS..!
If you do anything to help others.. Including Girls or boys.. on such communities and help em anyway with good intention I GUESS THERES NOTHING WRONG
badrobot14
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actions are upon intentions, yes, but we don't commit haram saying we have right intention at heart.. just remember that....ACTIONS ARE JUDGED BY INTENTIONS..!
If you do anything to help others.. Including Girls or boys.. on such communities and help em anyway with good intention I GUESS THERES NOTHING WRONG
as Allah (S.W.T) tells us:
‘... Verily, Allaah accepts only from those who are Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)’
[al-Maa’idah 5:27]
so if you achieve a good goal but with haraam means... then where is your taqwa??
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Explaining a particular question or responding to query of someone of opposite gender? Is that haram?
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well if u got an android phone then this is the best app of all :
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...liU29mdHdhcmUuSGFkaXRoQ29sbGVjdGlvbnNMaXRlIl0.
badrobot14
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Etiquette of talking to women
Praise be to Allaah.
Speaking to non-mahram women may occur because of a need or it may occur needlessly.
If it is done needlessly and only for fun and enjoyment, then there is no doubt that it is haraam and comes under the heading of the zina of the tongue and ears of which the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) spoke when he said:
“The son of Adam’s share of zina has been decreed for him, which he will inevitably get. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the ears is listening, the zina of the tongue is speaking, the zina of the hands is touching, and the zina of the foot is walking. The heart longs and wishes, and the private part confirms that or denies it.”
Narrated by Muslim, 2657.
When there is a need to speak to a woman, the basic principle is that it is permissible, but it is essential to pay attention to the following etiquette:
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The conversation should be limited to only what is necessary and has to do with the matter at hand, without talking too much or branching off into other topics. Think about the etiquette of the Sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them) and compare it with the way things are today. The Mother of the Believers ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) narrated the story of the slander (al-ifk) that the hypocrites accused her of; in her hadeeth she (may Allah be pleased with her) said:
Safwaan ibn al-Mu‘attal al-Sulami al-Dhakwaani was behind the army and had set out at the end of night. In the morning he reached the place where I was and he saw the shape of a person sleeping. He recognized me when he saw me, as he used to see me before the hijab was enjoined. I woke up when I heard him saying Inna Lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raaji’oon (Verily to Allaah we belong and verily unto Him is our return) when he recognized me, and I covered my face with my jilbab. By Allah, we did not exchange a word and I did not hear any word from him apart from his saying Inna Lillaahi… He made his camel kneel down and put his foot on its foreleg (to keep it steady), then I mounted it, and he set off, leading me on the mount, until we came to the army.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4141 and Muslim, 2770.
Al-‘Iraaqi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The phrase “and I did not hear any word from him” is not repeating the previous idea (“we did not exchange a word”). It is possible that he did not speak to her; rather he spoke to himself or he recited Qur’aan out loud or said dhikr out loud such that it could be heard. But none of that happened. He did not speak to her; rather he used silence in that situation out of good manners and politeness, and because of the seriousness of the situation in which he found himself.
This hadeeth also shows good manners with non-mahram women, especially in the case of being alone with them out of necessity in the wilderness or elsewhere, as Safwaan did when he made his camel kneel without speaking or asking questions. End quote.
Tarh at-Tathreeb, 8/53
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Avoiding joking and laughing; that is not part of etiquette and dignity.
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Avoiding staring and always trying hard to lower the gaze as much as possible; if there is a quick glance for the purpose of speaking, there is nothing wrong with that, in sha Allah.
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Not softening the voice, by either party, or choosing soft words; rather they should speak is the same, ordinary tone of voice as they would speak to anyone else. Allah, may He be exalted, says, addressing the Mothers of the Believers (interpretation of the meaning): “then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery, etc.) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner” [al-Ahzaab 33:32].
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Avoiding the use of any words that may have some suggestive meanings, and so on.
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Not going to extremes in embellishing one’s speech . Some people use their skills in communication with others by movements of the hand or face or by quoting poetry or proverbs or romantic phrases. This is a means that the Shaytaan uses to open the door to haraam attraction between the sexes.
Source
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if this feels too much, remember:
The Messenger of Allah (sa) said: “Allaah did not send me to make things hard for people in the hope that they would make mistakes, rather He sent me to teach and make things easy.” Narrated by Muslim, 1478.