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i love my mom and dad

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In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24: Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat your parents with great kindness; if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

After the rights due to Allah Subhanah, in Islam the biggest rights in all mankind is due to our parents. And the best dua or supplication one can make for his parents is one that is taught to mankind by the Lord Most Merciful Himself and quoted in the above Aayah:
and pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

Regarding the rights and obligations of our parents upon us, it is imperative and obligatory on every believer, who fears Allah and the Last Day, to treat and obey his parents in absolutely everything, except if they ask you to do something which is against the command of Allah and His Messenger (saws). Other than that, their word is basically a command for us! We are not allowed in any circumstance to groan, moan, growl, whimper or even say ‘uff’ to them! We have to obey them in every respect, as long as their command is not against Allah and His Messenger (saws). We have been enjoined by Allah Subhanah to be kind to them, be patient with them, be merciful to them, be obedient to them, and treat them with the utmost respect. So much so, that this right and obligation is termed ‘fard ain’(absolutely obligatory for every individual) in Islam. And ‘fard ain’ means, that no matter how old you are … 10-20-50-90… as along as one or both of your parents are alive, you have to be obedient to them! No one can do this on your behalf… you have the obligation to do it yourself! This is the high station and the elevated ‘maqaam’ of parents in Islam.

Just as obedience to parents is considered amongst one of the best virtues in Islam, disobedience to parents is counted amongst one of the most major and gravest sins in Islam.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.8 Narrated by Anas bin Malik
Allah's Messenger (saws) mentioned the greatest sins or he was asked about the greatest sins. He said, "To join partners in worship with Allah; to kill a soul which Allah has forbidden to kill; and to be undutiful or unkind to one's parents."

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 9.9 Narrated by Abdullah bin Amr
The Prophet (saws) said, "Al-Kaba'ir (the biggest sins) are: To join others (as partners) in worship with Allah, to be undutiful to one's parents,", or "to take a false oath."

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821 Narrated by Anas
The Prophet (saws) was asked about the great sins He said, "They are:--
(1 ) To join others in worship with Allah,
(2) To be undutiful to one's parents,
(3) To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill) (i.e. to commit the crime of murder),
(4) And to give a false witness."

And Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
 
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OH MY GOD, its awesome.. seriously brought tears to my eyes.... even if we had realized the value of our parents :(:( OH ALLAH, please help us, we are so much stooped towards our lived that we have almost forgot about parents.. O LORD, PLZ help us :(:( ameen :(
 
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OH MY GOD, its awesome.. seriously brought tears to my eyes.... even if we had realized the value of our parents :(:( OH ALLAH, please help us, we are so much stooped towards our lived that we have almost forgot about parents.. O LORD, PLZ help us :(:( ameen :(
ameen......seriously it got tears to even ma eyes.......we dont realize how much our parents have done for us.....may Allah reward. them a million times more than what they r suposed to be rewarded.ameen
 

badrobot14

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I want to know clearly. What do religions say about the 'bad' parents?

Now, please spare me that cliché "no parent can ever be bad". If you still think so, then you are obviously ignorant of the kinds of people that walk the Earth.

haha, why do you judge b4 waiting for replies... yes there are bad parents... and a person's behaviour with them depends (like if they harm too much, a child can take steps to stay safe from the evil depending on the situation.. m saying this coz I've read fatawas of severe unimaginable abuse)... yet we are supposed to give them utmost respect and be our best to them... REGARDLESS of their attitude to us. We do that for Allah, not for them. (video at end explains this, plz see it)

Ok, too much theory.. let's see a practical example, a really bad parent I know of is the father of Ibrahim (A.S) whose name was Azar. When Ibrahim (A.S) invited him to believe in Allah and leave the false gods in a beautiful way and with logical proofs (remember Ibrahim is the guy who even broke all the idols n left the big one saying the big 1 broke them :D so his logic is undeniable)... this is what happens:

[His father] said, "Have you no desire for my gods, O Abraham? If you do not desist, I will surely stone you, so avoid me a prolonged time."
[Abraham] said, "Peace will be upon you. I will ask forgiveness for you of my Lord. Indeed, He is ever gracious to me.
And I will leave you and those you invoke other than Allah and will invoke my Lord. I expect that I will not be in invocation to my Lord unhappy." (19:46-48)
http://quran.com/19/41-50

Imagine even at the threat of being stoned (Rajm) he replies with Salamun Alaik!
To be grateful to parents and to be kind like that, isn't it remarkable? I mean obviously Ibrahim (A.S) is on the truth, someone in our time will start yelling back if that happened but this great man maintains his good conduct.... Of course being good doesn't mean following them in sin coz Prophet (S.A.W) said "There is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience towards the Creator." [Bukhari] but we are supposed to be good even when we can't praise them for some of their actions... And in matters that don't go against Islam we are supposed to be obedient to them even if we dislike that thing.

This explains in detail our attitude (and touches that issue too) towards them and why, you'll love it insha'Allah:

 
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haha, why do you judge b4 waiting for replies... yes there are bad parents... and a person's behaviour with them depends (like if they harm too much, a child can take steps to stay safe from the evil depending on the situation.. m saying this coz I've read fatawas of severe unimaginable abuse)... yet we are supposed to give them utmost respect and be our best to them... REGARDLESS of their attitude to us. We do that for Allah, not for them. (video at end explains this, plz see it)

Ok, too much theory.. let's see a practical example, a really bad parent I know of is the father of Ibrahim (A.S) whose name was Azar. When Ibrahim (A.S) invited him to believe in Allah and leave the false gods in a beautiful way and with logical proofs (remember Ibrahim is the guy who even broke all the idols n left the big one saying the big 1 broke them :D so his logic is undeniable)... this is what happens:

[His father] said, "Have you no desire for my gods, O Abraham? If you do not desist, I will surely stone you, so avoid me a prolonged time."
[Abraham] said, "Peace will be upon you. I will ask forgiveness for you of my Lord. Indeed, He is ever gracious to me.
And I will leave you and those you invoke other than Allah and will invoke my Lord. I expect that I will not be in invocation to my Lord unhappy." (19:46-48)
http://quran.com/19/41-50

Imagine even at the threat of being stoned (Rajm) he replies with Salamun Alaik!
To be grateful to parents and to be kind like that, isn't it remarkable? I mean obviously Ibrahim (A.S) is on the truth, someone in our time will start yelling back if that happened but this great man maintains his good conduct.... Of course being good doesn't mean following them in sin coz Prophet (S.A.W) said "There is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience towards the Creator." [Bukhari] but we are supposed to be good even when we can't praise them for some of their actions... And in matters that don't go against Islam we are supposed to be obedient to them even if we dislike that thing.

Let's say I was taking precautions cause really, some people fail refuse to see realities that exist outside their homes.

What if "taking steps to stay safe from evil" necessarily implies harming the parent?
E.g. a young girl who is continuously raped by her father. Protecting herself means harming him, surely?

I'll watch the video later, iA. Multitasking.

And, thank you. May Allah reward you for the time you invested. :)
 

badrobot14

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Let's say I was taking precautions cause really, some people fail refuse to see realities that exist outside their homes.

What if "taking steps to stay safe from evil" necessarily implies harming the parent?

I'll watch the video later, iA. Multitasking.

hmm.. it depends... many times there are ways to avoid harming them but we fail to realize them coz we think we are too smart that we don't need anyone's advice... like somtimes you can make parents do something by asking elders of family or their friends... to resolve situations... if you read that book, 'Enjoy your life' you'll notice what Hikmah/wisdom can do is amazing....
Oh n making dua in hard situations works..!

I can't say anything whn you describe it so vaguely.. but I wd question the validity of 'nescessarily' first and then think what's the wisest thing to do...
if someone was in that kinda situation I'd tell them to post a question at www.islamqa.info since they are good at telling you fiqh of the matter n genral advices and then I'd say ask for advice from ur sadaf aunty since she is good with mental n emotional stuff....
n ofcourse while one is doing that one shouldn't give up hope and stop asking in dua...
The Messenger of Allah sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said,
"The supplication of the servant will always be answered provided that he does not supplicate for something sinful or supplicate to sever the ties of kinship and provided that he is not impatient."
It was asked, "O Messenger of Allah, what is impatience?"
He replied, "He says, 'I have supplicated and supplicated but I have not received an answer' then he becomes frustrated and leaves off supplicating."
(Sahih Muslim)
 

badrobot14

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I gave an example in my edited post.^
inna lillahi wa inna elaihi rajioon!!

yes... I've read a fatwa on similar matter, I'd share it... why did you have to ask such a depressing question!
Anyways read the fatwa (which is a little bit less severe than ur eg.) and do note the tonnes of advice scholar gives and then this is course of action the action he mentions:

Wise relatives should be informed of such actions so that matters may be dealt with. If that does not work, then you have to make a complaint to the sharee’ah court or to the security services in order to stop his evil actions towards you.

......

It is haraam for you to take your father’s actions lightly. You have to ward him off with all the strength you have, and raise your voice in shouting for help, even if that leads to his being shamed or imprisoned.

http://islamqa.info/en/ref/46886
 
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I thought I've some 5-10 minutes before namaz, so I'd watch the video. It's 25 minutes long. Robotji, you have no written material? :p
 

badrobot14

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I thought I've some 5-10 minutes before namaz, so I'd watch the video. It's 25 minutes long. Robotji, you have no written material? :p
don't remember... but I think someday I might trnascribe it... since I need that reminder after every few months.
watch it though.... n ur time will be well spent, insha'Allah. I love how he explains difference b/w abb and walid... etc.
 

badrobot14

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I thought I've some 5-10 minutes before namaz, so I'd watch the video. It's 25 minutes long. Robotji, you have no written material? :p
well here you go....
http://muslimmatters.org/2011/11/15/yasir-qadhi-ramadan-reminder-parents-my-biggest-door-to-jannah/

P.S. I know very little economics, but I liked the concept of Opportunity cost... If we learn and internalize what that video teaches, then we had to give no opportunity cost... Allah pays us well, Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, " Allah makes the way to Jannah easy for him who treads the path in search of knowledge.''[Muslim]. So I dont mind learning a bit of Islam.. it helps me in life.....
 
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inna lillahi wa inna elaihi rajioon!!
yes... I've read a fatwa on similar matter, I'd share it... why did you have to ask such a depressing question!
Anyways read the fatwa (which is a little bit less severe than ur eg.) and do note the tonnes of advice scholar gives and then this is course of action the action he mentions:
http://islamqa.info/en/ref/46886
"even if that leads to his being shamed or imprisoned."
So, that does mean harming him, doesn't it?
Well, in all honesty, this is only one common case I mentioned, one of so many others that keep occurring everyday and we are unaware of. Depressing maybe, but it's reality. And reality doesn't require anybody's permission, it just is. Just think, it's depressing for you to hear of it. How much more depressing is it to live with it?
If it was that easy as informing relatives, then we wouldn't have had so many problems in the first place itself.
"Parent" is a word we view with a positive connotation because of everything good that we hear around us about it, but that certainly does not erode the multiple cases of growing abuse of parents towards their children.

I've read your articles. Nowhere do they talk of the 'bad' parents. They talk of trying to emulate the good our parents did for us no matter how impossible a task it might be. But the exact basis of my question is that not every parent does good.


Most of us here are parents, and you know how much love a parent has for a child. I have said this many times before that this love is a miracle from Allāh without which life on earth would cease to exist. Muslim or non-Muslim, kāfir or mu'min, the love that comes from the heart of a parent is a miracle from Allāh. This love is a type of love that is unparalleled in human existence. No one loves you like your parents do – not your wife, not your husband, and not even your child. The type of love that a parent has is a selfless love; they will give and give and give and expect nothing back in return. If you think about, it is a miracle because look at how much time, effort, and frustration the kids bring, but still the parents continue to give and give. If Allāh had not created this love in parents, then humanity would cease to exist because children do drive parents crazy. Children are an incentive for us to go to work. It is because of the children that we want to work overtime.

Allāh is saying: “This love I created in your parents, and now you need to give it back to them.”

Listen to what Ibn ʿAbbāssaid, showing he was a person who understands human nature. He said, “You haven't done a fraction because when your mother took care of you, she did it out of genuine love wanting to see you flourish, grow, and live for a long time. Now that you are doing it back, you are doing it as a burden and as a favor back to her waiting for her to die. How can you compare the two? How can you compare that attitude of love and compassion with your attitude of 'I will pay you back'? You have done good, but you haven't done a fraction of what she did for you.”

What about those parents who are out there literally killing poor innocent children? We need to come out of that pink box and see the darker side of things. This is what justly requires our attention. Good is good, by focusing on the good doesn't mean making the bad better.

Sexual abuse is one case I mentioned, but there are so many others. Excuse my frankness, but some people aren't even worthy of the title 'parent'. Just producing kids to use them and sell them as slaves, prostitutes, for fetching them drugs and alcohol and I don't know what else. I know of a woman here who beat her child to death (yes, he died) just because he said "Mum, I'm feeling hungry". They do not view the life inside the child. Selfishness blurs out every emotion that you will describe as 'humane'. Physical abuse on one side, there are children victims of verbal abuses of kinds you cannot possibly think of. Just once ask these children and they will tell you how much it is better to be killed once and for all than go through perpetual emotional murder.

What's acrimonious about this fact is that the 'criminals' here are those same people who were decreed to love and protect. There are many agencies, but truthfully, no real source of comfort for these unfortunate innocents, except perhaps knowing that they are just one among so many others suffering for no fault of theirs on Earth.
 
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well here you go....
http://muslimmatters.org/2011/11/15/yasir-qadhi-ramadan-reminder-parents-my-biggest-door-to-jannah/

P.S. I know very little economics, but I liked the concept of Opportunity cost... If we learn and internalize what that video teaches, then we had to give no opportunity cost... Allah pays us well, Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, " Allah makes the way to Jannah easy for him who treads the path in search of knowledge.''[Muslim]. So I dont mind learning a bit of Islam.. it helps me in life.....

Okay, I'll watch the video asap insha Allah. Was just asking for a written article of it if you have any, as most videos have articles, which I prefer.
 
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