~~jokes?? in here?? really??

[Minato112]

​

A junior in an office dialed his boss's number by mistake & said :Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in two minutes !

Boss shouted : do you know whom you're talking to ?!!!!!!
Junior : no!
Boss: i'm the boss of this office.
Junior (in the same tone) : & do u know whom you're talking to?
Boss: no!
Junior: thank God. (and disconnected da phone).....

 

[Minato112]

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change ur queue, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telefone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone u know increases when u r with sum1 u don't want to b seen with

 

[Minato112]

Diff B/W Commerce & Science Questions:Commerce :What Is Ur Name?(10 Mrks)

Science:Whats Ur Name & Its Origin?Give Relations &Applied Aspects Along With It'S Logical Significance.Also Explain With The Help Of Graph.It'S Upper & Lower Limits.(1+1+1=3 Marks)

"GUD LUCK TO SCIENTISTS"

 

[Minato112]

What is the difference between Monkey & Human ?

Monkey DO NOT LIKE this message &

Human LIKE this message.

Choice is yours!!!!

 

[Minato112]

A kid was beaten by his mom.

Dad came n asked: What happen son?

Kid said:I cant adjust with your wife anymore, I WANT MY OWN.

 

[Lyfroker]

hahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahaaaa..........gr8!

 

[Minato112]

hahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahaaaa..........gr8!

Thnx

 

[sweet fairy]

A kid was beaten by his mom.

Dad came n asked: What happen son?

Kid said:I cant adjust with your wife anymore, I WANT MY OWN.

LoL! xD

 

[GetSomeLife]

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.” XD

 

[GetSomeLife]

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.

 

[GetSomeLife]

An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote, “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”
“But,that would make no sense at all.” the dog replied.

 

[GetSomeLife]

A woman is in a grocery store and happens upon a grandpa and his poorly behaving 3-year-old grandson at every turn.​

It's obvious gramps has his hands full with the kid screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle; same for fruit, cereal and soda.​

Meanwhile gramps is working his way around saying in a controlled voice, 'Easy Albert, we won't be long; easy boy.'​

Another outburst and she hears gramps calmly say, 'It's OK Albert, just a couple more minutes and we'll be outta here; hang in there.'​

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items from the cart and gramps again in a controlled voice is saying, 'Albert, Albert, relax buddy, don't get mad -- we'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, Albert.'​

Very impressed the woman goes up to gramps as he's loading the kid and the groceries into the car and says, 'You know sir, it's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. The whole time you kept your composure and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be OK. Albert is very lucky to have you for his grandpa.'​

'Thanks, lady,' replied gramps, 'But I'm Albert . . . the little jerk's name is Johnny.'​

 

[GetSomeLife]

A young guy from Wisconsin moves to Florida and goes to a big everything-under-one-roof department store looking for a job.​

The Manager says, 'Do you have any sales experience?'​

The kid says 'Yeah. I was a salesman back in Wisconsin.'​

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did.'​

His First day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. 'How many customers bought something from you today?'​

The kid says, 'One.'​

The boss says, 'Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?'​

The kid says, '$101,237.65.'​

The boss says, '$101,237.65?! What the heck did you sell?'​

The kid says, 'First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod.​

Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition.'​

The boss said 'A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?'​

The kid said 'No, the guy came in here to buy makeup for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's short, you should go fishing.'​

New generation haz its wayzz!!! ​

 

[Silent Hunter]

hahaha.......

 

[GetSomeLife]

 

[SalmanPakRocks]

 

[SalmanPakRocks]

 

[Gémeaux]

 

[GetSomeLife]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

 

[Gémeaux]