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The problem is we always think we still have time.
I feel sad… I feel like crying… wait! Why am ‘I’ crying? It’s not my 14 years old cousin that died in the car crash; it’s Aleena’s! I am just weird…. No, maybe I’m not! There might be a reason I’m so sad… and I might be trying to shy away from admitting it. Look Hamna, you know why you are sad…You know Satan wants you to not worry about it and try to forget, try not to look at your mistakes… Yes, you should be remorseful; you should be worried about it.
Ah...! Since the last hour, I have been sitting on my table, doing nothing, nothing except listening to this argument… an argument between the good side and the bad side of my self; my conscience… I have been listening to this argument, quietly, very quietly, so i could reach a conclusion. Finally, after another half an hour of listening, I reached a conclusion... that yes... i was crying for the right reason and that, all these years I've spent, I’ve spent them doing wrong, all these years I've been thinking wrong, thinking, 'Abi baari zindagi pari hae' (Still, lots of life is left to live). All this time, even after knowing that it is only Allah who knows when shall a person die… still I actually believed in what I was told.
OMG! All those years the accursed Satan told me that I should 'enjoy' my teenage years by listening to songs, watching those useless television shows, going after desires and talking about those ‘stupid’ worldly things (gossiping and the whole charade)… oh and even worse is that I actually believed him(satan)…!
Ya Allah! Oh…Lord…! Forgive me my lord…! I am so sorry… I am not even sure if I’ll be alive, the next moment or not. I am feeling so guilty right now; I don’t know what to do…! But hold on; I hear something soothing, ‘The Adhaan’ (the Muslim call to prayer), it seems as if Allah Himself is telling me that look you can still turn to Me, there still is room for forgiveness… like the Quran says… “Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." And return [in repentance] to your Lord and submit to Him before the punishment comes upon you; then you will not be helped.”(39:53-54)
After it I knew what was to be done, so I sat quietly and listened to Adhaan, I then performed Wudhu (ablution) and made my Salah (Prayer).
There was this awesome feeling after I prayed; it felt like I had been forgiven…..
Editing credits: badrobot14
I feel sad… I feel like crying… wait! Why am ‘I’ crying? It’s not my 14 years old cousin that died in the car crash; it’s Aleena’s! I am just weird…. No, maybe I’m not! There might be a reason I’m so sad… and I might be trying to shy away from admitting it. Look Hamna, you know why you are sad…You know Satan wants you to not worry about it and try to forget, try not to look at your mistakes… Yes, you should be remorseful; you should be worried about it.
Ah...! Since the last hour, I have been sitting on my table, doing nothing, nothing except listening to this argument… an argument between the good side and the bad side of my self; my conscience… I have been listening to this argument, quietly, very quietly, so i could reach a conclusion. Finally, after another half an hour of listening, I reached a conclusion... that yes... i was crying for the right reason and that, all these years I've spent, I’ve spent them doing wrong, all these years I've been thinking wrong, thinking, 'Abi baari zindagi pari hae' (Still, lots of life is left to live). All this time, even after knowing that it is only Allah who knows when shall a person die… still I actually believed in what I was told.
OMG! All those years the accursed Satan told me that I should 'enjoy' my teenage years by listening to songs, watching those useless television shows, going after desires and talking about those ‘stupid’ worldly things (gossiping and the whole charade)… oh and even worse is that I actually believed him(satan)…!
Ya Allah! Oh…Lord…! Forgive me my lord…! I am so sorry… I am not even sure if I’ll be alive, the next moment or not. I am feeling so guilty right now; I don’t know what to do…! But hold on; I hear something soothing, ‘The Adhaan’ (the Muslim call to prayer), it seems as if Allah Himself is telling me that look you can still turn to Me, there still is room for forgiveness… like the Quran says… “Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." And return [in repentance] to your Lord and submit to Him before the punishment comes upon you; then you will not be helped.”(39:53-54)
After it I knew what was to be done, so I sat quietly and listened to Adhaan, I then performed Wudhu (ablution) and made my Salah (Prayer).
There was this awesome feeling after I prayed; it felt like I had been forgiven…..
Editing credits: badrobot14
