~~jokes?? in here?? really??

[CaptainDanger]

1 Badshah ne apne Wazeer se awam ki bardasht malum karne ko kaha
Saray Log kaam pr jane ke Liey 1 pull pr se guzarte thay
Wazeer ne pull pr se guzarne ka tax lga dya
Mgr koe ehtajaj nahi hua
Wazeer ne tax barha kr 10 guna krdia
Phr bhi koi ehtajaj nahi hua
Wazeer hr tax dene walay ke 10 jutay bhi Lgane ka hukum dia
Aglay din Log Badshah ke Mehal ke bahr jma hogae
Badshah samjha ab ehtajaj hoga
Badshah ne Logo se unka masla pucha?
Jwab aya ke Jutay maarne wala 1 hi admi hay
Lambi Line Lgani parti hay
Kaam pr Late hojate hen
Jutay maarne walo ki tadaad brhaee jae.......!

 

[Silent Hunter]

"Headlines of 2050"

1. Hritik'z grandson in DHOOM-22.

2. I will play d next World Cup-Sachin'z grandson.

3. Shahid n Saif atended Kareena's 15th Wedding..

4. Petrol - 984/-Litre.

5. SRK's Daughter become a Heroine wid Big B in Cheeni Khatam..

6. CID completed 1052620 tv episodes..

7. Salman khan said: i ll definatly marry some1 next year..

8. This year'z miss universe is from Mars..

9. Nokia launches new Phone n, x, s, 50000000i, with 20 sim card,
500 GB InBuilt Memory,
99.5mp Camera,
Music & Video Player,
WiFi, Facebuk, 5G, GPS, TV, AC, Fridge & Washing Machine..

hahaha ........... very funny especially the last one

 

[skinnyboyfat]

Read only if u lyk Chuck Norris jokes
-Only Chuck Norris can delete the recycle bin :lol: :lol:
(funny if u ever tried it)

-When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he's not pushing himself up. He's pushing the earth down.

-Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

-Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun

-People invented the car to get away from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.

-Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and hit himself in the back of the head… …And block it. :lol:

-Chuck Norris had his tonsils removed… …with a chainsaw.

-The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked one of the corners off.

-Chuck Norris once had a drop of his blood drip into the engine of a flatbed truck. We know this truck today as Optimus Prime.(funny if u watch transformers)

-When Chuck Norris falls in water, he doesn’t get wet: the water gets Chuck Norrised.

-Chuck Norris got his driver’s license at the age of 16. . . . . . . Seconds.

-Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. . . . . At night.

-Nothing, not even light, can escape a Black Hole… …Except Chuck Norris, who eats Black Holes. He says they taste like Chicken. :lol:

-Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. :lol:

- Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. :twisted:

-How many martial arts experts does it take to change a light bulb?
two. one to hold the bulb and Chuck Norris to turn the planet :lol:



FAQ
Whats the whole fascination with Chuck Norris jokes???
"there is no fascination with chuck norris jokes...jokes are just fascinated about chuck norris."
I think the fascination is basically the silliness of the jokes and the ideal that Chuck Norris is so though/awesome that the normal order of things don't apply to him.
Its just a genre of jokes like u have rap hip hop jazz pop rock metal . . . .

 

[Silent Hunter]

^^^^hahaha .......... yep chuck Norris is strange

 

[MysteRyGiRl]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!


1.Sa
2.Ray
3.Ga
4.Ma
5.Pa
6.Dha
7.Nee
8.Sa.

Ab is mai khud ko talash kernay k leay 3 aur 6 perhain. Thanks.

Height of Creativity:
I have saved my Girlfriends no. as LOW BATTERY?

So, whenever she calls & Im not around,my Mom plugs my phone to charger unknowingly

hahahahaaaaaaaa scnds one amazingggggg

 

[MysteRyGiRl]

Translation ruins most urdu jokes...!! still some attempt..

Here's a really good joke:

[youtube]LE59OSwGdnE[/youtube]

It's from a lecture shahada fiqh of dawah by kamal el mekki. Hillarious joke.. I tried telling it to a friend and ruined it somehow..

hehe nyss :lol:

 

[rz123]

^^ lolz i found u.

 

[Lyfroker]

hahahahahahaa all r nys........ atlast got smthng 2 laugh on

 

[Lyfroker]

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, "How odd. Scottish sheep are black."

"No, no, no!" says the physicist. "Only some Scottish sheep are black."

The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions' muddled thinking and says, "In Scotland, there is at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which appears black from here."

 

[skinnyboyfat]

Only for GIRLZ!!!!

 

[badrobot14]

funny if u don't consider the recent apple news..

 

[Lyfroker]

lol

 

[CaptainDanger]

Hahaha!

 

[Lyfroker]

Sardar: In my dreams rats play football every night

Doctor: take this tablet you will be OK

Saradar: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final match





INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room , how can you escape if it caught fire?

Sardar : Simple, stop imagining.




A Sardar received an invitation, to a party which said “Black Tie Only”!!
When he went to the party he was surprised to find the other invitees wearing trousers and shirts as well !!!!




A Sardar was cutting side of capsule before taking it.

His Friend asked him why are you doing so ?

He replied :-"TO AVOID SIDE EFFECTS"....!!

 

[skinnyboyfat]

@badrobot. . . awesome!!! R.I.P STEVE

btw i dont get it why is the iPhone tab clicked on that pic. .

@lyfroker AWESOME jokes!

 

[skinnyboyfat]

Frinedship is like peeing on ur self. . . but only u can feel its warmth and spreading all over
its kind a quotaion i guess

 

[leosco1995]

Sardar: In my dreams rats play football every night

Doctor: take this tablet you will be OK

Saradar: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final match





INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room , how can you escape if it caught fire?

Sardar : Simple, stop imagining.




A Sardar received an invitation, to a party which said “Black Tie Only”!!
When he went to the party he was surprised to find the other invitees wearing trousers and shirts as well !!!!




A Sardar was cutting side of capsule before taking it.

His Friend asked him why are you doing so ?

He replied :-"TO AVOID SIDE EFFECTS"....!!

All of these were hilarious and gave me a good laugh, haha. Do post more similar ones.

 

[Lyfroker]

TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula forwater?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

CHANGING EXAM PATTERN
Year 1995 : Answer all questions.
Year 2000 : Answer any 5 question.
Year 2005 : Select the correct answer (A, B or C).
Year 2010 : Write either a or b.
Year 2015 : Please only read the questions.
Year 2020 : Thanks for Coming !!!

Usually boys believe in what they see and
girls believe in what they hear,
that is why ....
boys lie and girls wear make up!!

 

[MysteRyGiRl]

Sardar: In my dreams rats play football every night

Doctor: take this tablet you will be OK

Saradar: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final match





INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room , how can you escape if it caught fire?

Sardar : Simple, stop imagining.




A Sardar received an invitation, to a party which said “Black Tie Only”!!
When he went to the party he was surprised to find the other invitees wearing trousers and shirts as well !!!!




A Sardar was cutting side of capsule before taking it.

His Friend asked him why are you doing so ?

He replied :-"TO AVOID SIDE EFFECTS"....!!

hehe niceeeeee

 

[CaptainDanger]

TIP
How to save 25paisa per year??










iss main b interested ho
Qasam sy!!!kon ho tmlog yar....


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Girls are over-imaginative
A boy sends a text

Boy: Hey

Girl (to herself): OMG.. he just texted me.. I wonder what he wants. maybe he just wants to talk..or maybe he's mad at me, but all he said was hey.. I should just answer him, dont want to keep him waiting.. well maybe I'll wait another 3 minutes so he thinks I m busy. No, thats too obvious. Could this mean he's into me? Or is he just bored? Either way is fine, I mean I don't care if he likes me back. Who said that I even liked him?
huh.. I'm gonna text back now. Should I reply hi or hey. Hey with 3 y's? No thats stupid. 2 y's work. He wont know if I did it on purpose or if it was accidental. Ok! I got this.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Girl: Heyy!



Boy: Please mark my attandence at university


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Science says and i agree,

My "CELL" is the fundamental unit of my life!
:-D

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1 din 1 larky ki grlfrnd ka birthday tha & boy was not in that city
so he ordered 24 red roses 4 her girlfrnd

&

called her up

dear meny tumhary liye utny roses bhejy hyn

Jitny saal ki tum h0 gyi ho...



While delivering

florist thought

yeh aj ka mera sbse acha customer hy...

Chalo me isy 10 roses free mn dy deta hun...

So he gave 34 instead of 24...

.

.

.

Aur aj tk larka samjh nhi paya k uska break up hua q ...???


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A girl sent a msg to her boy friend
" i < 3 u "

He replied : Pagal ho gayi ho kiya ?
complex number system main inequality define kahan hoti hai .

bechari pagal nahi thi

Larka ENGINEER tha

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LOV STORY:
1nce der ws a guy n a girl in a gud reltionshi p since 5yrs

N

luvd each othr

Guy was sincere n gal ws cute

Both were happy.

1 day girl came 2 meet d guy n showd him her PINK LENSES.

He saw dem&was surprised.

Days Passed n 1 day suddenly guy met wid an accident.. .

Gal came 2 hospital n waited 4

37hours..

Den doctor came out n told her,

''Ur boy friend has Alcohol in his heart.."

Girl was shockd&was not able 2 think of d reason...

Reason was-

'PINK LENSES'

U know,

"Gulabi Akhein Jo Teri Dekhi

'Sharaabi Ye Dil Ho Gaya"

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Hey i'm not well. . :-(
































































































































I m not a river either...:-D